We Don't Talk Anymore | ✓

24 | Lincoln

She narrowed her eyes, staring at me studiously. "About how...you can't have children."

I blinked more times than I cared to count. My heart was beating way too fast, a direct contrast to my breathing, which was too calm for the situation. "How'd you find out?" I asked and much to my surprise, my voice was steady.

She scooted closer but maintained a good amount of space between us. It was as if she also needed the space in order to control herself. "Your mom came over yesterday and told me."

My heart sank deep in a sea of sorrow and panic. So, she did know. She knows everything now. "Damn."

Chills ran up my spine when she grabbed my hand in between her soft ones. She was looking at me with the uttermost perplexed eyes. My heart faltered at the sight. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

I looked away from her, afraid of what she might see in my eyes. If she were to see how much I still wanted her, how much I still loved her, it would only hurt her. That was something I wouldn't allow myself to ever do again. "You deserve to have your dreams to come true, Hails. I know how hard you work to secure the career you want. When you have that, you're gonna want to build a family," I stopped, taking in a painful breath. I forced myself to look her in the eyes and continued, "I can't give you that."

I felt her hands leave mine to grab my shoulders. She was determined to disprove my stance. She was sitting up straight, her delicate grip on my shoulders effective in conveying how much she wanted me to switch sides. "You were supposed to talk to me about this, Lincoln. You weren't supposed to usurp my right to know why you were ending our relationship. What makes you so sure being with you would've ruined my dreams of having children?"

I nearly laughed at how ludicrous her last sentence sounded. "Do you hear yourself, Hailey? You can't have children with me. That's the whole point."

That seemed to trigger anger in her and I saw the fire that lit up her eyes. She removed her hands fast and crossed them across her chest. "I don't have to have children. I'm more than fine with adopting. Did you ever consider that?"

I stilled. "I thought-"

"-Well, you thought wrong!" she yelled as though she couldn't contain her frustration anymore. "You thought wrong," she repeated softer, pushing me away.

"Hailey," I started, but stopped short. I really didn't have much to say, but I still tried to prove my position. "You would honestly be okay with never getting pregnant?"

She flinched at my words.

"Exactly," I stated more firmly, responding to her silent reaction that spoke volumes "in a few years, you're gonna start regretting this when you realize that you do  want to carry your children."

"Stop putting words in my mouth," she replied sharply.

I let out a humorless laugh. "I'm not putting words in your mouth, Hails. I'm just saying the brutal truth you won't allow yourself to see. The guy you're now with is most likely very capable of providing you with the best future. You seem to like him a lot," I said, my voice almost cracking at the end. A sharp pain shot up my heart, a feeling of nauseousness overwhelming me as I remembered she was with another man.

"You're talking about Jon," she whispered, sinking down into her seat, "we broke up this week."

My eyebrows furrowed. I didn't know how to feel. I wanted to be belated, glad that she was free. At the same time, though, I wanted her to be happy; that is all that I've ever wanted. "I'm sorry. You seemed happy."

She looked up at me wistfully. "I miss you," she said, disregarding my words of remorse towards her fallen relationship, "I miss you so much it physically and mentally hurts. I'm emotionally exhausted, Lincoln. I tried moving on and here you are, pulling me right back in. And you're pushing me away again. You still don't want me. "