Never Let Me Go (Niall Horan)

Chapter 8 - Surprises and miracles...

Trusting is just letting go. Releasing fear and diving into the unknown. Whatever the outcome is, it doesn't matter. All I'm supposed to know is now and in this very moment you are what I know. You are what I'm learning therefore I am learning about myself. but trusting people are my weakness, and also trusting myself is harder, how am I gong to tell Niall that i'm pregnant with his child and trust him to stay if I can't even be trusted alone with myself...

But I love Niall, and he's the only one who's actually stayed. Can you imagine someone who figures out why you're so guarded? finding someone who stays? No matter what you put them through they always remain on the front porch waiting for you. The light never goes out, your outline always remains in the bed sheets, they never fill your draw in their wardrobe. They become a part of you and you become part of them, so much so that if you were to ever go missing, it would feel like you went missing too, that's probably what Niall felt when I was not with him, how he was alone, I could see it in his eyes the whole time.

Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that it'll all be okay, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day, say it enough that one day you'll actually believe it. Remind yourself that things have change, it changed for a reason. You just have to let go and move on. Its going to be hard and your going to feel lonely but just hold on, because who's to say tomorrow wont be the best day of your life?

you can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind, because my mind is already destroyed.

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"Niall, we need to talk" I sighed as we got into his apartment.

"W...what about" He asked sounding now worried as he stepped towards me with his blue ocean eyes wide and scared.

I didn't know what to say after that, I kept repeating the words in my head "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant" But my mouth just couldn't open, my thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth...

"Hey, whatever it is, I'm here" He said, holding onto me tight and looking into my crying eyes.

I kept my hand over my mouth and just let the tears fall down, Niall catching them as he put his thumb on my cheek and rubbed the tears away. "I cant do this any more Niall, I'm crazy and too emotional. I'm a mess. I'm unhealthy and I'm ruining your life, I'm louring you down with me Niall, I'm falling apart but your picking up the pieces every time I break, why do you love me, no one would love a girl like me, but you do, and I love you, but I'm a train wreck, I'm cynical, I'm sorry Niall..."

"No Katy, your not giving up now, I'm here, just tell me whats wrong and i'll always be there, tell me Katy, please"

"I'm....I...I'm pregnant" I whispered and his worried eyes lit up to be shick and excitment as he laughed and smiled, making me smile as well.

"Your gonna be a dad Niall" I whispered, squeezing our combined hands together and seeing a tear leave Niall's eye.

"How...how long" he replied, making me have another lump in my throat, I only found out just now...

"4...4 months, I know Niall, I just found out myself, I would of told you that, I just thought I was getting better gaining more weight, and..."

"Katy, I love you" he smiled, bringing me closer and hugging me.

No matter how frightened and discouraged I may become about the future, I look forward to it. In spite of everything I see all around me everyday, I have a shaky assurance that everything will turn out fine; and I don't think I'm the only one. Why else would the phrase "Everything is alright" ease a troubled place in so many of us? we just don't know, we never know, yet we have so much faith. We hold our hands over our hurts and lean forward. Its is how we keep on, this kind of hope...