Disney Channel Dweebs™ ▷ fack + it/st {discontinued}

A Target Adventure

i'm basing this off of a thing on tumbr that i can only remember parts of that was originally for the losers club but it works for these train wrecks too

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Just as planned, twenty minutes later, the ten kids arrived at their local Target. Their parents each gave them some money, and told them to be home for dinner. Which none of them planned on actual doing, but it's not like they said that. They all met outside, discussing how much money they had before going in.

Jaeden, of course, walked in with a wireless speaker on his shoulder, blasting Hotel California by the eagles. He was already dead inside.

"Jaeden, you're gonna get us in trouble," Wyatt said, attempting to take the speaker. Jaeden was having none of this, however, as he took off running towards the diaper isle, music still playing loudly. Wyatt attempted to chase him, but it was unlikely that he'd actually catch the other boy. So now to group was down to eight.

They lost Finn and Jack as they passed the toy isle. Finn was pushing a cart, having a conversation with Millie when he spotted the Hatchimals. He ran over as fast as he could, shoving 20+ into his shopping cart, making direct eye contact with jack, whispering, "Let's do this fuckers," and the were gone, Jack in the cart on top of the Hatchimals, the two running off to who knows where.

The next two out were Sophia and Millie, Sophia spotted a pair of fuzzy elephant socks, and ended up punching some guy in the face over them. Millie was there for backup.

Then went Noah and Sadie. Noah was complaining about how he really needed bandaids, so Sadie went with him to find some. "This place is a fucking rip off," he said angrily, looking at the prices of Strawberry Shortcake bandaids. Sadie patted his back in comfort.

Chosen and Jermey ran over to the toy isle, Jack and Finn long gone. They found a purple stuffed pelican who Chosen named Carl. It was his new best friend and Jermey nearly cried.

Wyatt ended up losing Jaeden in the grocery section and cried by the cauliflower until some old lady tried to speak to him, so he pelted her with gogurt sticks.

Bill was in the furniture section singing, "You can check in anytime you like but you can NEVER LEAVE," at the top of his lungs, which is how Wyatt finally found him.

Millie did NOT forget about the 30% off all vacuum cleaners sale and dragged Sophia all the way over. They ended up picking a purple one and Millie sat on it While Sophia pushed her.

Jacks mom asked him to pick up some laundry detergent, so Finn (who was now preoccupied by is ghost hunting app) pushed him over so he could pick some out.

"JACK, THIS TIDE LIQUID LAUNDRY DETERGENT IS POSSESSED BY A DEMON!" Cue Finn throwing it to the ground spilling it all over the floor, Jack holding back tears as that was the last lavender scented bottle.

Chosen and Jermey bring their new pelican son, (Jermey decided that it was their son and not chosen new best friend) to the cracker isle and feed him zesty ranch ritz crackers while Jermey reads him a book from the children's section.

Finn took some kids razor scooter and put jack in a storage bin, attaching said storage bin to the back of the scooter and riding around.

Cue Noah and Sadie dancing onto if a toilet paper display, Finn singing, "LOOK AT JACKIE'S MOM SHES GOT IT GOIN ON," still riding the kids scooter.

Millie couldn't find Sophia, so she ran around until she saw her climbing out of a bin of CDs, "Oh hey Millie how have you been," Millie had not been good, as in her search for Sophia she fell into Jacks storage bin and he wouldn't let her out unless she licked a penny he found on the floor. According to him it was, "The one and only sacred rule of the bin,"

Finn eventually abandoned the scooter somewhere near the ice cream section, and was back to ghost hunting. He was convinced a manikin was hunted, "Im telling ya Jack, I'm picking up a pretty strong demon signal with this one," until Jack told him if he kept this up, he would leave him for the manikin.

Jaeden and Wyatt ran into Sophia and Millie, so they built a fort out of beanbag chairs and pillows and called it, 'The Sophie and Jyatt hut' cue some innocent kid trying to come in and the four literally hissing at them and throwing bottles of soap.

Chosen and Jermey found a brother for their Pelican Son and brought them to the 'Carnival' which was really a Merry-go-round music box.

Jack and Finn eventually found the hut, so it was expanded and named, 'The Sophie, Jyatt, and Fack Hut.' Finn and Jack made everyone uncomfortable by making out inside of it.

Chosen decided it was time to send their oldest pelican son off to school and Jermey broke down sobbing in Chosens arms.

Sophia and Millie left the hut and Sophia drank juice straight from the bottle as Millie chanted, "CHUG CHUG CHUG," at the top of her lungs.

Jaeden and Wyatt left next, Wyatt finding them matching Scooby Doo onesies and nearly crying at how adorable Jaeden looked in his.

Finn forced jack to wear a bra and skirt and posted it on every social media he could think of.

They all got kicked out.

They were not welcome at that Target ever again.

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I don't know what the fuck that was but i hope it was decent.