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Opening credits play against generic footage of Johnny stalking about San Francisco
Exterior shot of Johnny’s car pulling up outside his house
Johnny enters the living room
Johnny: Hi babe! I have something for you.
Lisa: What is it?
Johnny: Just a little something.
He playfully hides the package, then presents it to Lisa. She opens it to find a red dress.
Lisa: Johnny, it’s beautiful. Thank you. Can I try it on now?
Johnny: Sure, it’s yours.
Lisa: Wait right here. (she grabs Johnny’s tie and kisses him) I’ll try it on right now.
Johnny sits down. Cut to Lisa reemerging from the stairs in the red dress.
Johnny: Wow, you look so sexy, Lisa.
Lisa: Isn’t it fabulous?
Johnny: I would do anything for my girl.
Enter Denny
Denny: Oh hey, guys.
Johnny: Oh hi, Denny.
Denny: Wow! Look at you!
Lisa: It’s from Johnny.
Johnny: Anything for my princess! Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Denny: How much was it?
Lisa: Denny, don’t ask a question like that!
Johnny: Nice to see you, Denny. I’m going to take a nap.
Denny: Can I go upstairs too?
Johnny: Ha-ha!
Lisa: Denny, I think I’m gonna join him.
Johnny: A-ha-ha.
They exit upstairs, speaking barely audibly
Lisa: I’ve got some candles upstairs.
Johnny: You always think. A-ha-ha. Alright, I’m ready.
Lisa: This is so pretty, I can’t wait for you to get it off of me.
Johnny: Oh, yeahhh.
Denny takes a bite of an apple, then follows them upstairs.
In the bedroom, Johnny and Lisa start a pillow fight.
Johnny: A-ha-ha! (incomprehensible gibberish) Ha-ha-ha! Ouch!
Denny joins in and gets clobbered as everyone laughs.
Denny: No, stop!
Johnny: Denny, do you have something else to do?
Denny: I just like to watch you guys.
Lisa: Oh, Denny, Denny, Denny boy!
Johnny: Denny, two’s great, but three’s a crowd, ha-ha.
Denny: I get it. You guys want to be alone.
Johnny: That’s the idea!
Denny: Fine. I have homework to do anyway. Bye, lovebirds!
Johnny: Bye, Denny.
Lisa: Bye, Denny.
Denny exits, and a three-minute love scene commences, scored to terrible R&B. There’s a lot of water and rose petals and naked boobs. Johnny fucks Lisa’s belly button. Afterwards they lie awkwardly in bed together, and Lisa seems bored with Johnny as he sleeps.
