When Mary Met Halley

Six

"Well, you're in the right place if you get stung," he told her, which is what I'd been thinking but had the tact not to say.

Her eyes were wide and her breath was coming in little gasps. "Oh my God, it's crawling up my shoe, it knows it can kill me," she almost moaned. It would have been funny had she not looked so frightened.

Because I am me, I got up, dumped the last three cigarettes into Leif's lap with a bunch of tobacco flakes, and knelt by her white Sketchers tennis shoe. The bee was busily making its way toward her pink ankle sock and I deftly scooped the fucking thing into the cigarette pack and closed the top. Bees didn't bother me the tiniest bit.

I walked farther than I needed to; the urge to laugh was almost beyond my control and I knew it was more of an anxiety thing than anything else but still, it wouldn't come across well. I tossed the bee out and it flew off the other way.

"Thanks, seriously," she said when I returned, her cheeks and ears pink. "I feel like a total ass but I really like breathing." She sat back down and I did the same. "I hate having to get the fucking Epipen shot." She shuddered.

Leif slid one of the cigarettes behind his ear and handed me the other two. I narrowed my eyes at him and he held a hand up between us so he couldn't see my face. "It's fine," I told her. I went back to the grocery shopping app.

"Sooo," Leif said, letting me know something else was wrong.

"Crap," I responded. "What now?"

"Pretty sure Charlotte and Joey are having the sex," he said wryly. "I caught them coming out of her room yesterday and they both looked guilty and smug."

"Shit!" I saw her questioning glance again, trying not to look like she cared, and realized it was rude not to fill her in. "Their sister, my brother. They're fifteen."

She winced. "Not ideal."

"She just turned sixteen," he reminded me.

"Right, that's much better, thanks." I rolled my eyes and motioned for him to light the jacked cigarette.

"You and Caleb weren't much older than . . . " he trailed off and bit his lip.

"Teenagers are stupid," I said scathingly, giving him an out. I added some popsicles and juice to the cart. "And that's why I take her to get the depo shot. We don't need more sibs having more kids, amirite?"

"So right," he said emphatically, giving me the smoke. "So, so, right."

She had that smile that was pleasant but confused.

"My sister has three kids," I said as an aside to her. "Which wouldn't be an issue if she were a good mom, but she's really just not."

"Ah," she said kind of lamely. The wind blew across us and strands of hair too short for the bun were blown across her face. She made a sound of frustration and brushed them back. "Growing out my bangs, which is taking forever."

"Same," Leif deadpanned of his inches-long hair, and was pleased when we both laughed a little. "So you're staying at a hotel, huh."

I knew he was trying to make polite conversation. But instead of with Caleb was implied and it was awkward. I wondered where he had planned for them to live. We had lived in an apartment together for years before he left, at which point I'd moved into a house I'd found. He was supposed to have joined me upon his return. Looked like it was now mine, all mine. Lucky me.

I couldn't play this game anymore just then. "I'm gonna head home, so if you want to . . . " I gestured up toward Caleb's room.

"Oh. Yeah, okay, thanks," she said awkwardly. "If you're sure?" She stood and brushed herself off.

I nodded and she thanked me and told us goodbye with an awkward little wave. 

We watched as she stopped to help an old lady get a bag out of the trunk, and then again as she picked up an empty plastic Coke bottle and tossed it into the recycling can.

"Jesus fucking Christ, dude," I said in dismay.

"I kind of see why he loves her," he said absently, his eyes on her.

I punched him, not lightly. "Wow," I said, hurt. "I seriously can't believe you just said that."

He winced bodily. "I'm sorry, Tug. That was fucked up."

"This is why you don't have friends," I pointed out, which we both knew was true. It was also a low blow. "Because you have no filter."

"Touche," he said with half a self-deprecating laugh. "I'm an asshole. Seriously, I didn't mean it in any comparison to you at all. You know I think you're the best."

I did know, but still. "I hate you sometimes." I got up. "I mean, really? And are you just thinking with your dick, or did you mean the whole package, or what?"

He groaned. "None of the above, I swear, I'm sorry. I am."

I snorted, shaking my head.

"Don't be mad." He rose too, taking his beanie from his jacket and pulling it on.

"I'm not," I half-lied. I couldn't stay mad at him for being himself.

"She's trash. I hate her," he continued, wrapping his arms around me even though he half expected me to push him away.

I let him hug me for a minute. "Yeah, yeah." 

My phone rang as he let go. I sighed and looked at it and sighed again, because it was my sister. 

songs in this chapter:
You Oughta Know (Alanis Morissette)