happiness! » stray kids

3. [in which minho threatens to give himself a swirlie]

Felix had managed to wrangle Minho and Jeongin to help with the bottling. He also called up Jisung to make the labels for the bottles because he knew Jisung was into that weird scrapbooking stuff. Not that Felix would call it weird to Jisung's face, because Jisung got weirdly defensive of it.

"Is it so bad that I want to be able to remember the good times later?" Jisung had once screamed at Felix with a pair of tiny scissors and strips of decorative paper clamped between his lips - his hands were busy gluing ugly photos of himself with Minho in his latest scrapbook. After that, Felix dropped it.

But anyway. The big day had rolled around, and Felix had gathered all of his friends in the bathroom. Most were less than thrilled (Changbin was emanating pure fury and the desire to sleep, and Woojin's disappointment was suffocating), but they were all promised a share of the money and thus, their heads were in the game. Troy Bolton who? Felix only knew his very supportive friends.

"Okay. Each bottle has been labeled and filled, thank you very much, Jisung, I deeply appreciate your effort."

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic." Jisung frowned.

"That's okay." Felix smiled angelically. "A bottle is going for 2,500 won, alright?"

Everyone nodded, including Chan - he nodded off, head smacking the wall he was leaning against.

"Someone give Chan a good smack-whack, please."

Jeongin obliged, gleeful, and hit Chan probably a lot harder than necessary, then proceeded to hide behind Hyunjin when Chan swore himself awake. Hyunjin just stared off into space, looking vaguely confused. He was probably trying to figure out what he'd eaten for breakfast, or why he was in this bathroom. He probably didn't even know what was going on.

No matter. They would persevere, even carrying Hyunjin's dead weight. They were strong, a unit, a team, in sync —

"Let me try a bottle or I'm gonna give myself a swirlie," Minho said.

"Go ahead," Changbin mumbled, and Felix laughed hysterically, slapping the wall of the stall and gasping for breath. He quickly sobered when he caught Changbin's glare and saw Minho edging towards the toilet. Felix grabbed a bottle and dumped some of his happiness potion into it, handing it over.

Minho downed the whole thing like he was taking shots and everyone yelled, hitting each other and jumping and generally descending into man's natural state of disorderly chaos. Minho held up the bottle and everyone watched with bated breath for his reaction. Jisung was clutching his beanie in fear and Changbin, of course, was living.

Minho's face went from white to red to purple to white again, then he grinned.

"That," he proclaimed, enjoying his new god-like status, "was the worst-tasting thing I have ever consumed in my human life."

"H-Human life?" Seungmin mumbled while everyone else cheered, effectively ignoring this largely concerning statement.

Soon, everyone had consumed some of the potion and were ready to let it loose upon the masses.

However, during lunch, some...side effects presented themselves.

Minho texted their group chat that he was "experiencing some Nasty Diarrhea" at the same time Jeongin vomited all over his tray. Chan reacted with abject and pure horror, jumping up and fretting near Jeongin, completely panicking and thus being useless. Changbin passed out and Felix just stared. How was he going to make his money now? This was terrible publicity. Also, Changbin passed out. He sighed in annoyance before looking up and realizing the entire lunch room was staring at his disease table.

"Who wants to get happy?" He shouted (for the sake of everyone, we won't mention his dab).

Five minutes later, he found himself and Chan accompanying Jeongin and Changbin to the nurse's office. He was snickering.

"I can't believe you passed out."

Changbin gritted his teeth. "If you speak one more word to me I will murder you."

"You love me," Felix said lightly, unaware of Changbin's hands strangling the air.

"Are you lightheaded? You're sure you're okay?" Chan kept asking Jeongin. Jeongin was nodding, looking more like he wanted to die than when he had vomited, which was saying something. He had looked so disappointed and unhappy with the world in those seconds he spent staring at the remainder of his previous meals that Felix wondered who had hurt him.

"I'm fine," Jeongin was trying to assure Chan, but Chan was having none of that.

"If Jisung hears about this - "

"I heard that Jeongin threw up!" Someone screamed. Chan let out a high-velocity sigh and quickly glanced upward, like he was asking some higher power to send him at least a little help.

"Jisung, shouldn't you be in class right now?" Chan asked. Jisung ran up to them, and Changbin looked like he was ready to drop dead right there if it meant he could avoid this situation. Felix didn't blame him. In fact, they could drop dead together; how romantic and couple goals -

"I should, but I heard that Jeongin threw up so I had to check on him," Jisung explained.

Jeongin appeared to be trying to hide from the older boy. "I'm fine, Jisung, really."

"Nah, you're not fine and you clearly need me; you chucked your guts, tossed your cookies, lost your lunch, yakked - "

"Jisung. I'm. Fine." Jeongin raised his voice above Jisung's. "I have Felix, Changbin, and Chan. I probably won't die. Get back to class, okay?"

Jisung hesitated. Jeongin seemed to hold back a scream and forced himself to wheedle, "For me?"

"Well...okay. Get well soon!" And Jisung dashed back to class.

"I would get well sooner if you weren't so far up my - "

"Jeongin!"

"Sorry!"

And somehow, they managed to make it to the nurse's office without Changbin committing homicide.

i keep hearing felix's accent when i type minho and i cannot handle it. anyway tag yourself im minhos Nasty Diarrhea bc i had mcdonalds the other day and im still suffering