Twice in a Lifetime (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 94. Finally.

"I wasn't just talking about Waliyha you know," he murmured aloud, his solemn yet calm voice sending a sensation in my fingertips. "I shouldn't have said the words that I said to you. I was a jerk when I mentioned the whole money shit. I would never take the money from your dad. Thinking back now, I am repulsed by them. Mia, I want you to know that loving you was a privilege I will never take for granted."

"Where are you going with this?" I asked a little afraid of what he was leading with. I wasn't prepared for this kind of deep conversation so late at night.

"I just want to say a few things before it's too late," he softly spoke.

"Well, you still have many days left to."

"No, Mia," he almost cut me off. "There's not many left. You never know what happens tomorrow and I want to get this out there just in case tomorrow never comes."

What was he saying? He was not talking like himself. The Zayn I knew wouldn't be speaking like this.

"Zayn--"

"Mia," his eyes helped to shush me, silently pleading me to listen. He inhaled a breath slowly before continuing. "I want to thank you." Thank me? What did I ever to do to deserve his gratitude? "I know you're probably wondering the reason why I'm thanking you but it's really all I can do. I'm just a man, a boy actually when we first met. I don't know much, I never received any kind of education, nor did I give you anything valuable. But you. You showed me what love was. What true love was, and what I felt when I was with you, I'm certain I won't find it again."

"You will, Zayn. You will find it again," I tried to assure him. "Just like how you moved on from previous relationships, Perrie, Lindsay," I reminded him. "You found me. You will find love again." He wasn't convinced by my horrible persuasion. "You said you've never given me anything valuable?" I repeated his words and shook my head. "You've given me your heart. And the payment for that is way beyond any piece of manufactured tree. I can never repay you for giving it to me, but I'll have to return it soon," I tried to lighten the sullen mood with a smile.

"You don't have to," he tenderly informed.

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do," I argued and he replied with the same comeback. "Stop telling me what to do," I tried to joke by adding a smile, punching him gently on the shin.

"Stop being so stubborn," he taunted. It felt like forever ago when we were playfully teasing each other like this. I really missed it. I really missed him. Even though he was with me (for now), even though we saw each other almost every day, I missed him. "I'm sorry for messing us up." His eyes turned to his hands which were now balled into fists.

"We both did wrong."

It was true. We both did this to ourselves. Maybe if I had been more experienced, or more careful with my relationship with Zayn, I think we could have made it through this dark time. We could have made it. I think.

"Whatever time we have left, I will only give you good memories. I will leave you with nothing but a Zayn who will smile with you, who will laugh with you, and hold you like there's no tomorrow," his small smile faltered, almost tearing my heart apart. "And kiss you as if it was my last," he carefully added.

That was the tipping point. I knew he always had a way with his words, but in this devastating moment, I couldn't hold back anymore.

I slowly moved the sheets off, bending my legs at the knees so that I could step out quicker. Using my knees, I moved across the bed over to Zayn's side, my legs inches away from his as he watched my actions.