Starting Spark

The Downhill of The Holiday

Draco's P.O.V

My parents have been rather distant from each other ever since the very first day of the holiday, which was also the day which they had a fight over that "Cassandra" lady. Whoever she was.

There were only "G'morning" and awkward looks exchanged between them. Nothing more really. Oh and my father had seemed to forgot that I existed. Which was actually quite okay to me.

But I still haven't let go of the thoughts that have somehow found a way to crawl beneath my skin. I know what you're thinking, "Why should it bother you? Your father isn't torturing you anymore, be thankful." 

But you don't know how it feels. My mother feels so cold, even when she comes over at night and brush away my hair. It feels cold, cold and foreign. Do you know how painful that feels?

My mother's touch used to be so warm and so welcoming against my pale skin. I felt love and kindness every time she brushes my hair away from my face, now there's nothing left but cold isolated feeling of sadness. That's what sadness does to you, it gains your trust and everything. And when you think it became your friend, it drop you down until you fall and break to pieces.

Then, it sits and watch you try to collect yourself. Do you know how painful that feels? If you say you don't know, you're lying. Nobody lives a complete life, even the happiest man in the world. Pain and sadness will always find a way to drown you in your own emotions.

Finally knowing why my father was being so awful to me was something I had always wanted to know. I always thought because he had some kind of stress, and that things will work out. Who knew it was a woman?

If I didn't know her name, maybe I'd be able to think of her as my father's school crush or something. But now that I know her name, it was rather hard for me to not question things.

Like, 'why did he fall in love with her?' or 'how on earth did my mother find that out?'. 

And some questions about her appearance. I'll never know how she looks like, or what she did to affect our family's happiness, but she'll know things about me that I didn't know of. That's the scary part about knowing someone by the name but never really seeing them.

Did they had a fight that was so terrible, they split up? Or were they even couples? Had they dated, and things didn't work out and then it all failed, and concluded with me and my parents this way? 

What did she do to my mother that made her feel so much hate towards her? What kind of person was she? 

You know, those type of questions. They just keep swimming round and round my skull, like as if there was nothing but the thin layer of air that they float in. They sounded peaceful. Unlike the thoughts that they contain. The greyish thoughts that the silver line contains. 

Every night, I would try to sleep, but ended up failing. I swear my black eye socket beneath my eyes are definitely enlarging. It seemed to take forever for me to go to sleep now that I know about her, it's like the mysterious image of her destroying my family taking away my sleep.

My father mistreats me, at least I had a mother, but now she was gone too. And having to be broken beyond any wizard's ability to repair, I feel like I have no choice but to drown in the feeling of loneliness along with her.

I mean, that's just life isn't it?

Walking around the empty halls of Malfoy Manor, waiting for my parents to come and look for me. I can't believe how much that whole thing had affected me. I have even started to visit our hideous, old, torn back garden.

Without my father around, I seemed free. But I didn't like the feeling of being free either. I was just so used to being bossed around by my father, whether it was for my good or not, I had definitely gotten used to it and the sudden change just scares me.