Hello. Happy holidays! As a gift (and an excuse for not posting) have 120 out of context quotes from me that I find really funny. Enjoy. (Fair warning, I swear a lot and make a lot of sex jokes, so prepare yourself for innuendo)
"Your meat is too spicy child!"
"Spicy meat child"
"Cut cut cut-itty, knife knife knife"
"Have I been wrong all this time? Am I a smurfsexual?"
"No smurf dicks up in this bitch"
"*in response to dropping a chip* 'Scuse me bitch?"
"Mild mint MY ASS"
"Does this sound like a womb? Is this mother material?"
"Stop stimulating my FUCKING knee"
"Pipe the FUCK DOWN"
"GET ON MY SPATULA YOU SICK BASTARD"
"AH THE MAYONNAISE FELL, WORK WITH ME YOU SON OF A BITCH"
"WHY DID I JUST LICK RAW MAYONNAISE OFF MY HAND?"
"BREAD, BITCH"
"Aaron Burr, bitch"
"Yes you little hedgehog, you follow your dreams! You become the cupcake you've always wanted to be!"
"Look at him just chilling. Chillin' on my boobs."
"And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII—did not consent."
"Me, a simple gay, came downstairs just for a bagel and I get THIS?"
"Eat the chips you bastards"
"Don't fuck the duck"
"There's a penguin in a bag and it just fell on me"
"There's a pencil in my bandaid"
"I wanna see you fly like one of my French girls"
"IT'S A DRAWER FULL OF BABIES"
"I'm just gonna put a spoon between your knees to keep it warm."
"Maybe they can have gay fun times in the arena"
(My dad: "Water made the Grand Canyon") "It didn't PUNCH the Grand Canyon."
"There's a bear hand in my face."
"NARNIA BITCHES"
"Ramen noodle hair."
"Do you ever just sit outside in a wagon in the rain and eat almost a third of the Oreos and just regret?"
"I feel like a living shitpost."
"To the grass where the ground isn't made of ow."
"Well I'LL CREAM YOUR CHEESE"
"Look at me, I'm a fetus!"
"Beauty blend the door."
"BLEND THE BEAUTY" *throws beauty blender, which bounces off the person and hits me in the face*
("What time is it?") "Gay fish"
*whispers* "The ravioli returns."
"Pencils! Work with me you assholes!"
"I can't throw the baby down there, it'll melt."
"Hello, why are you licking my pants?"
"Origami up in this bitch."
"Let's get ready for some origami shit."
"Any food is a finger food if you're willing to get messy."
CZYTASZ
Fangirldom, a randomness book
LosoweCurrently a randomness book. I cuss a lot. This is technically a follow up to Welcome Fangirls (the cringe) but it's a lot more chill and random thoughts and mostly shitposts but hopefully we'll both have a good time.
