Astrid opens Jason's door quietly, freezing when she sees the scene before her.
Jason holds a bottle of Adderall in his fingertips, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks as looks at the orange bottle in his fingertips.
Was he—
And then, in a moment of anger he throws the bottle as hard as he can across the room, shattering the bottle and sending pills flying.
He huffs angrily, breaths puffing as he wraps his arms around his calves, curling into himself.
And then, he sees Astrid and his tears only come quicker, shaking his head rapidly.
He can see the look on her face.
"I was-sn't g-g-go-gonna k-ki-kil—" The word is stuck on his tongue, hitting far too close to home for his liking.
He cries lightly and Astrid nods softly, closing the door behind her but stopping at the foot of his bed in seeing the way he tenses with her every step.
"Y-You c-c-can co-come closer."
She shakes her head, and then she can see the frustration in his eyes even more evident.
He was furious— but not at her.
And she knew that because she could read him better than she could read herself.
"W-Why c-ca-can't I b-b-be normal?" He croaks out, "Why c-ca-can't I hu-hug y-yo-you w-without m-my h-he-heart p-pounding? W-Why ca-can't I k-kiss yo-you o-or c-cu-cuddle."
She sends him a light smile, "We don't have to hug or cuddle or kiss for me to like you."
"I'm s-sorry."
Her lips twitch into an apologetic smile before they fall back down— she hated pity, she didn't want to force it on Jason.
"W-Will yo-you hug me?"
She looks at him for a moment, weighing her options in her head before whispering, "Bubs, I can't do that."
He visibly sinks in frustration and she gently reaches out for his hand and he takes her, pressing his cold hand to her lips.
She makes eye contact before saying lightly, "I love you and I'm proud of you for trying. That's all anyone could ever ask."
That's the only thing she'd wanted to hear in her two and a half years of silence, but it's the only thing she never got.
And then, for the first time in four days, Jason Blossom smiles, teeth chattering and hands shaking, he smiles.
•••
"Astrid?" Jason's speaks quietly, hesitantly.
She hums from where she sits, eyes on the movie before them.
"What were you like before the accident?"
It's clear she wasn't expecting that question because her eyes widen and she she turns to him.
"I'm sorry— I shouldn't have—"
She shakes her head, "No it's okay- I'm just, it's just no ones really ever interested in me, they wanna know why I'm so messed up."
She glances away thoughtfully, before gnawing on her bottom lip, "I had a lot of friends— with a core four or five group that I did everything with. I always answered the teachers questions, I was shy until you go to know me but everyone knew me so I wasn't really shy anymore. My favourite subject was always science- physics particularly. I was always smiling. It was always Arden and I. I used to ask my parents to take me on random and spontaneous adventures. My favourite colour was bright orange— it's still my favourite but is like a more muted orange now. Um, I used to be really good at adapting and uh- I used to literally eat everything in sight. I used to play like every sport..." She shrugs, finding jason has finally stopped shaking, his eyes still water though they don't drown in them like before.
She reaches over the edge of her bed, picking up her purse and tugging out her wallet, snagging a few pictures and polaroids from one of the pockets, creeping a little closer but not too close to stir him up again.
"I was looking through the box," She says softly, "I made it halfway before I couldn't go anymore but I found these. This ones Arden and this one is me."
He glances at her face but she doesn't seem to notice— and for the first time, jason truly can't decipher her emotions.
She's either feeling so much that her face is blank or she just genuinely was numb.
She shrugs lightly, as if brushing it off like it hadn't plagued every aspect of her life for the past three years.
And then, she returns to her spot on his bed, eyes glancing back up to the movie and for a moment Jason wonders if perhaps he wasn't the only one who didn't know who he was anymore.
•••
Astrid steps out of the car just as the last period bell rings, leaning her back against the hood of her car with a quiet sigh.
Her eyes scan over the crowd of incoming students, waiting for the two of the people she'd really known in the school.
Her eyes first catch her brothers he's did raven hair as she sees her, in the very front of the crowd.
They stop moving and she can them exchanging banter, the guys making some inappropriate comments and the girls staring her down.
"Did Mom drop you off? Where is she?"
"Work, she asked me to pick you up, I'm taking Jason too."
Alexander still was blatantly thrown off when she spoke, but he was always filled with a sense of giddiness when he hears her voice.
"Jason has shot gun," she says softly, brushing her sunglasses to the top of her head to look him in the eyes, "He refuses to admit it but he's having a rough one with closeness right now, I don't want him to feel trapped."
He nods, "No, yeah, I understand. That's totally fine."
She nods softly, sending him a light smile, before saying, "I love you, Alexander."
And the smile on her little brothers lips is something she never thought she'd see again, before he grins back, "I love you more."
And as he hops back into the car she sees the crowd has grown around her, but then she sees a head of red head practice part the sea of people just by saying a polite, "Excuse me, guys."
And when he sees her he smiles, walking straight over to her and taking her hand in his, "Flower, what are you doing her?"
She hears the whispers around her grow.
"Is she the reason Jason keeps turning down girls?"
"She has to two most popular guys in school wrapped around her fingers? And they know about each other?"
"Who even is she?"
"She's a no one, Avery, get over it."
"They're not even together, he hasn't made out with her and she hasn't been at any parties."
But she just continues, "I'm picking you up, Cheryl said you looked tired this morning, she didn't want you driving. She took your keys when you fell asleep in study hall."
Jason's eyebrows furrow and he checks, the loop of his pants only to find his keys were indeed missing.
"How did I sleep through that?"
She shrugs lightly, smiling before it drops into a look of concern.
She squeezes his hand, and he looks her in the eyes, humming.
"How are you?"
And for the first time, Jason doesn't try to lie, he only shrugs lightly.
"I've been better," and then he lets out a heavy sigh, nodding, "A lot better."
She pouts softly, and he murmurs nervously, "Can I have a hug?"
She looks at him for a few moments glancing over him and he swears he can feel her staring into his very soul before she wraps her arms tightly around him.
And Jason can't help but think— that was the best hug he'd had in a long time.
STAI LEGGENDO
Crestfallen » Jason Blossom. #wattys2018
Fanfiction"I haven't seen her smile, since the day of the accident. Jason, you are our best shot at ever getting her to talk again. She hasn't talked in two and a half years, and I heard her laugh when she was with you, do you know what that's like for me?" ...
