Oh, Alexander

Chapter 11. The Funeral

The funeral had been a lovely turn out, even though it was a closed casket. All our family and friends showed up. Cassie, Alex, and I sat in the first row, there arms wrapped tightly around me as I cried. Dad sat in the back row with Ben and Ashley away from everyone. My mother had been dead for a week. A week that my father spent drinking scotch straight from the decanter. He had loved her with all of his heart and only cared for her happiness, that's the only reason he allowed getting the divorce. To sacrifice his happiness for hers.

The pastor had finally finished her speech of my mother being a wonderful woman who was 'a bright star in this world'. "Would anyone like to say a few words before we head off to the burial site?" Her soft, sweet sounding voice broke through my disastrous thoughts.

I turned around in shock when my dads rugged voice broke the silence. I watched him as he walked to the podium. He looked like Hell, his pain obvious in his grey eyes. "Jaynie was a wonderful wife, mother, and person. We were best friends in high school and I was always in love with her. When she told me that she wanted a divorce, my heart was crushed into pieces, I loved her too much to let her go. We tried to make things work for the kids, it worked for a few years but recently we started the process. I never stopped loving or caring for her." His voice shook with every word, "I will love her even though she is gone and I will miss her everyday. I hope she rests peacefully." With all of that being said, we were off to the burial.

Her coffin had many beautiful flowers of reds, purples, whites, and golds. Her favorite colors. The pastor prayed as they lowered the ivory casket into the ground, it was a long process. My fingers clutched the him of dress as my other hand lay on my swollen belly. A bag of dirt was being passed to immediate family. Dirt we get to place on her casket once it's fully in the ground. I stopped playing with the hem to grab a handful.

Once the casket was lowered we stood around the hole. Family with handfuls of soil and friends with red roses. I struggled with my emotions as I threw my handful in, my heart aching to see her once more and beg for forgiveness. I'm so sorry I failed you mom. I hope she has your eyes. My moms eyes were beautiful cat-like eyes that were a deep azure blue which showed her every emotion and held her wisdom, even when she was angry her eyes were beautiful. Tears started to fall from my eyes, "Goodbye, Mommy. I'll miss you."

Alexander squeezed my shoulder, "Come on, baby, let's go home." He says softly. I just nod and let him lead me. "Do you want to stop somewhere and get something to eat?"

"I guess. I'm not really hungry right now, but I want to keep the baby healthy. I can lose her too." I whimper. "She doesn't deserve to be harmed by my pain."

"Everything will be okay, baby. The pain never goes away but it lessens, gets easier to deal with. I felt the same way when my dad died." He states. My head snapped up. He lost his dad? No wonder he doesn't talk about his family. He looked over at me and smiled. "I was eight when it happened. My mom just had my little sister so I took care of her while my mom got drunk. She went to rehab two years ago, got out last year. And you know my twin so there's no need for introductions there. I also have an older brother but he's in college. Want to meet them?"

My eyes widened. Meet his mom and sister? "I, uh, I guess. Are you sure, Alex?"

"I'm sure, baby. We'll get some food and then I'll let you meet them." He smiled and pulled into a diner. The Pit Stop: Home of the best burgers, fries, and shakes! the sign proclaims largely in square lettering.

We ordered a couple of burgers. I got a chocolate vanilla swirl shake with blueberries and extra whip cream and Alex got a root beer float. The food didn't stand a chance against my ravenous state of hunger. It, along with the fries, were gone within minutes. My shake, however, was savored to the very last drop. It tasted like Heaven! "Mm..." I moaned softly.