That Ballah Love: Down For My Ballah

Chapter 39

Dr. Blake jut watched us scribbling down in his stupid notepad.

" You aint have to say it but thats what you were going for and ment we know that "

" You dont know shit " She huffed folding her arms across her chest with an attitude.

" Im not even trying to argue with you. Im not trying to fight with you..Im trying to make this shit better and fix it "

" You wouldn't have to fix it if you didn't break it " She says.

" Cash do you blame everything that messes up and got you to this on Gucci "

" No...But the big things, Yes. Im not perfect..I make mistakes..but I learn and try and change..He says he tries and changes..but he dont. He just keep repeating sorry and thinking thats going to make it better...and it wont..it doesn't take away from the hurt he causes and pain I feel "

He waited for her to keep going because her mood went from mad to sad in a matter of seconds I was completely shocked.

" I love him...and our good out weighs the bad..but I dont see why I should subject myself to a disloyal man if his sisters or daughters shouldn't have to in his eyes..Men can be faithful just like women can be..and i know people make mistakes but dudes like Gucci is always calling hoes unloyal and talking about how girls have to be those ride or die down ass girls...Why dont men have to be ride or die and down? If i cheated on him he would probably go upside my head..grab a gun and go out looking for trouble, His double standards are fucked up " She spoke.

I shook my head.

" Gucci do you understand what shes saying? "

" I get it...but Im like give me a break, most niggas wouldn't keep trying to apologise and make shit right...and im trying but she keeps pushing me away. Thats my thing. I know I fucked up but im trying here the best I KNOW how " I say. She looked at me then away shaking her head..I seen the tears on her face and tried to wipe them and she pushed me away from her. " See "

" Cash why won't you let him consult you " He asked looking at the both of us.

" I dont want him touching me..Hes the cause of my pain right now...Every single time he touches me I think about him and her.."

" You have a lot of pain..without me already " I remind her.

" So do you, Dont make t seem like I'm the only one with problems. I can recall just weeks backs..a month or so ago drying your tears as you cried and being the only one that listened to you vent. My shoulder was soaked and you was telling me everything. Im not the only problem child sitting here " She shot back. I rolled my eyes thinking of that,

" The two of you are not realizing how  your problems go back...they go back to when you were younger..I heard about Gucci childhood. Cash tell me about yours "

" I grew up with both of my parents for a long while. When I was very young my uncle started raping me and it went on for years. My father got murdered and that was the only men that I was close to..that was my everything..As I got into my teen years I had myself burried into basketball with plans to go pro. I met Gucci when i was about to turn 18. I found out then my mother was using crack. She got killed not too long after.. My child hood I was spent getting hurt and caring for myself...and my babysister...He made me happy..he brough joy to myself abd alot of pain too..Right now im finally tired of letting people walk over me and do me wrong..and I been weak Cash and take it "She says.

" Gucci how does that make you feel? "

" I feel like shit honestly. I don't want my daughter's thinking its okay to let a nigga treat them like shit..but i dont want her to go anywhere..I treat her like a queen any other day..when me and cash are good..we're great!"