COMPLETED // Alone Together // (Emison Story)

Ch.19 Before I Let Go

Hey loves, these next chapters are more focused on Emily and her emotions. Thank you all for keeping up with my story. I can't wait to get to the good stuff. 😼
Comment, fav, interact! 💕
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Emily's POV
It's been about a month or so since me and Ali have spoken to each other.
Of course I see her everyday because my mom thought it would be best that I just complete my senior year at Rosewood and tone down the stress.  People have been talking and asking questions about how Ali saved me. But she just shruggs it off like it was no big deal. It's not like I really feel like being around her anyway, she's been in full blown bitch mode since we last spoke that day in the hospital. But since then things haven't been the same. What she told me really tore me apart inside. She basically said she couldn't be with me because she cares too much about what other people think. Honestly, I knew I would never have a chance with Ali. She's not a normal girl she's Alison freaking Dilaurentis. If you looked up the word Rosewood in a dictonary a picture of her face would be plastered across the page. She has this glorious reputation she has to keep up and being with a girl could potentially destroy that.
Before she left the hospital the last thing I remember is us having an argument...

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"I'm so tired of this Ali. You act like you want to be with me yet we're still in the same place. You're not mine and I'm not yours..."
Emily sighed.

"But I wish you were, and I wish I was." Alison finished. "But you know that wouldn't be good for us right now Em..it could ruin things.."

"Ruin things for us or ruin things for you?" Emily questioned defensively.

"Em, it's not that simple for me. You already know what you are but I have no idea what I am. You're the only girl I've ever been attracted to. My parents already have my life planned out for me with extremely high expectations..." Alison spoke softly.

"And you think mine don't!? Ali, my mom looked like she wanted to disown me when she caught us together. She said she was ashamed to be my mother..that hurt so bad.
But I didn't choose to be this way...
I didn't choose to love you either. It just happened." Emily lamented.

"I'm just confused because what I feel for you is so real. But people in Rosewood already look at me like I'm Satan's spawn. I'm not sure if I'm ready for the backlash that would come along with "coming out." Alison said not making eye contact with Emily.

"Well I'm not sure if you're ready for me either then Ali." Emily admitted with sorrow.

***

And that was that. She left the hospital and I went home the next day.
On the way home I grew increasingly angry. Why does she always do this to me? And I'm just a huge idiot. She's tied to my heart like a kite to a string, and I just follow her where the wind blows. Like a little lost puppy.
And it finally hit me.
Just like Tina did Ike in the Limo, it finally hit me.
All of this is circled around her winning prom queen. Every single ounce of it. She's scared to be seen with me because people may not vote for her!
I tore a piece of paper out of my notebook and started to write down everything I was feeling and give it to her at school. She needed to know.

Dear Ali,
You may not like to hear what I have to say, but I need to get something off of my chest. You're not afraid of hurting me, so I wonder why I'm so afraid of hurting you.
Well I am, but that's not enough of a reason not to tell you how I feel.
So here it goes...