A Deep Love - Fell!Poth Fanfic

Chapter 15 - Mending Relationships

(Palette)

Nothing could get me out of my room for two days. I stayed locked away, refusing to eat or talk. I just stared at the picture, the first picture, I drew of Goth. It was him lying on the ground in the park, staring at the clouds. His scarf was splayed out on the ground, winding like a little river. He had one of his rare, soft smiles on his face. His arm rested beneath his skull, the other on his chest. He looked so peaceful...How can such a tormented soul find peace? I thought bitterly.

I clutched the scarf to my chest, wishing he were here with me. Wishing the emptiness in my soul would go away. Wishing he would fill it.

Someone knocked on my door.

"Go away!" I shouted.

"Someone is here, he wants to talk to you," Ink called through the door.

"I said go away!" I snapped.

"I'm coming in," Ink said, opening the door. I flipped over angrily, throwing a pillow at the door.

"I told you to go away!" I screamed, grabbing another pillow and throwing it at the person who entered. They caught it, holding it in front of their face.

Lowering it, I saw Geno standing in the doorway.

"What do you want?" I snapped, sitting up. Geno tossed the pillow aside, sticking his hands in his pockets and looking at me.

"I wanted to talk to you, about Goth," he said.

"What about him?" I said sharply, "About how you beat him, tortured him for no reason? About how it was your fault he went over the edge? About how you're the reason he's gone? About that? Is that what you want to talk about?!" I shouted the end.

Geno said nothing, looking grim. "Or maybe about how I tormented him for so long? About how he and I could possibly be together after what I did? About how he had a crush on his tormentor for six years?! About how I took advantage of that crush and made him suffer for it? About me seeing him every day, hating himself for loving me, and feeling bad about it?! About me making him test out our feelings?! About me loving him?!"

"Did you really love him?" Geno asked after my rant.

"Yes, I did," I said, "and you made him push me away."

"I know," Geno looked down, bouncing his fist on his leg, "I was... afraid."

"Afraid? Afraid of what?"

"Afraid of... afraid for him," Geno admitted, looking over at me, "I was afraid that you would toy with his heart, make him look like a fool, and break him."

"I might've done that, once upon a time," I nodded to myself, "But after feeling calm with him, relief when near him, and pain when he... I could never bring myself to hurt him anymore. I promised I would never hurt him again, keep him safe, and I failed."

We were silent for a long time. I sat on my bed, looking down, while he just leaned on the door, tapping his leg. He shifted and I looked up. He sat on the bed, not looking at me.

"I came here with news," he sighed, "Reaper found Goth. He isn't dead."

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. He-he's alive?!

"He's in the Glenn. I can't leave the Felle, and Reaper refuses to go there. Something about territory issues. I came to ask: would you go look for him?"

"Are you sure you want me to go near him?" I asked coldly. Geno sighed.

"Before our conversation, no," he looked up at me, his one eye glowing brightly, "But after hearing your accusations and your confession...You're the only one I want Goth to see after what he did."