Healing Talks (Rewritten 2020)

overture ;

• o v e r t u r e •

A short sigh escaped my lips as I stared at Jenny, her pen rhythmically tapping against a page of her clinically white notebook as I waited for her to start our session. The air in the room always seemed so thick at first, as if all the air in the room had been removed and I was gasping at the nothingness. It didn't feel comfortable, but then again I don't think it's supposed to. It's a room of confessions after all, although instead of it being in a Catholic Church and you speaking to a priest in a booth, it's just you casting out your demons and deepest fears to someone who's supposed to understand and not judge you. Nevertheless, I still hated being in here. The walls were uncomfortably too bright, and the room was almost too small with all the house plants littered in each corner and the cluttered papers scattered around the room - however Jenny's office was still felt exceptionally neat, and although it seemed unorganised almost nothing was out of place.

Now it was Jenny's turn to sigh. Her eyes were warm like caramel and she stared back at me briefly before massaging her temples. "Kyle, as much as I love talking to you every week, I thought we agreed that you wouldn't need to see me anymore and that you'd contact your sponsor?" Her voice was soft and concerned yet tired.

I scoffed bitterly clenching my jaw, "Chase? He does shit for me. Rather than helping the process and helping me get better all he wants to do is unearth the past and talk about the last moment that I rubbed my lips against the bottle." I spat feeling frustration course through my veins. Chase just didn't seem to understand. A month of dropping by a cafe or my apartment talking about the same subject over and over again and making me feel guilty just didn't seem desirable anymore, and I don't think Chase was necessarily a bad guy, just a cocky 30-something year old.

"Chase Sinclair is a good sponsor, Kyle and you're both alike, believe it or not." Jenny laughed briefly for a second pressing her pen against her lower lip. "Out of curiosity, how did you know I didn't have a client booked this morning?"

I simpered, "Honestly? You never have anyone booked at 10am, because this is the time you give yourself to rejuvenate and relax before seeing someone who's in more of a state than me in about two hours." She furrowed her brows before snapping her notebook shut.

"You need to stop going through my work diary, Kyle. It's private for a reason, there's a lot of personal things in there that no one knows besides me." Her eyes glazed over for a moment then she placed her notebook down and looked up at me. "So, now tell me about the last moment you saw her, I want to know every last detail, Kyle."

I sighed, clenching my jaw in distaste. Jenny didn't exactly know everything that has happened that day, just that we broke up and drinking became my main hobby.  "I remember running..."

                                              *
RUNNING. MY FEET SLAPPED AGAINST the pavement as I turned the corner towards London Victoria station, Slater and Evan following behind me, my chest was pounding so hard with every step I took and my mind was going frantic trying to look for my brown haired grey eyed girl. "There's too many people!" I practically yelled pulling on my hair trying to think clearly.

"Kyle, you can't search every female with brown hair here, it's practically impossible." Slater huffed, still completely out of breath, Evan said nothing but nodded behind him in agreement.

"She can't be gone, what exactly did she say to you, Slater?"

He stammered, surprised that I knew they were conversing the whole time she and I were not. He made it completely obvious, he'd cover their phone whenever we hung out and she'd message him, plus Aspen has a big mouth and finds it hard to keep things from me. "I-I."