Toy Soldiers (Helford #1)

(2) Codex

“You’re asking me to perform mutiny on my team member,” I hissed, the sound carrying for miles. I pressed my lips together, but the words bubbled to the surface, begging to be released. “Shawn, you know as well as I do that we live by a code, and by asking me to do this you are telling me to turn my back on all of my beliefs and all of your teachings. Is it worth it for one kill?”

“It’s out of my hands, Caitie,” he told me in a voice that sounded automated, like a robot. Like they trained him to say their words the same way that he trained me how to pull a trigger. Mechanical. Practiced. Perfected. My eyes narrowed. “There is nothing I can do once they give me an executive order. They have their reasons.”

“And I’m sure they are damn good ones,” I remarked sarcastically, stepping in front of him before we could turn a corner. He sighed and shifted his weight as if he was nervous, glancing anywhere but at my face. “I’ll never be forgiven for a betrayal like this, Shawn.”

“I know,” he said, and he sounded like a burning man.

“I’ll be hunted,” I announced, and my voice shook. “I’ll never be allowed in Helford again. My name will be stricken from the record.”

“You will be a ghost,” he whispered, and a shiver rolled down my spine with a nonexistent chill.

We stood there in total silence for the longest time before I murmured, “I don’t know if I can do it.”

“It’s not about if you can or not,” he told me. “It’s about whether you’ve been ordered to or not. And you have; you are expected to perform and execute those orders to the best of your abilities.”

I closed my eyes.

“I’m not saying I like it, Caitie,” Shawn muttered. “I’m carrying out orders just the same as you are.”

“And if I don’t kill him?” I demanded, opening my eyes again to look him square in the eye. “If we kill the target and I let him walk away?”

“Then you will be brought down with him,” he said, and that was all I needed to hear.

“The code, Shawn.”

“I know. But it’s not enough.”

“I’m learning that now,” I told him impatiently before I turned and walked away, leaving him behind without glancing back. I didn’t want to look at him—not when I realized what he was setting me up for.

Not when I realized that the only man I was allowed to trust just offered me an ultimatum that I wasn’t allowed to refuse.

I was either going to break the code—the code in which we all swore to protect each other and watch each other’s backs with everything we had—or I was going to die. I would either walk away proud, or I would be rolled out in a body bag.

I reached up and touched my face, and my hand came away covered in blood.