Ink Stained

97: his trigger*

彼の引き金

It was unanimously agreed that Pai cease physically attending Sapporo Odori High School. When she tried to protest, Shiori gave her The Death Glare™ to rival all others. Pai backed down pretty quickly after that.

Kouta easily arranged it so that instead she would home-school from assignments the teachers gave Shiori to pass on to her, and only have to actually go to school for subject tests and big exams. She liked that; though she felt oddly guilty about it, she liked that she didn't have to physically go to school, but would still (somehow) manage to graduate. She did miss Natsume and Aoi and Shuusei sometimes, but she still preferred this over having to actually go to school almost every day.

Still, she was hesitant at first, unwilling to let Shiori go to school alone. It wasn't like Haru and Shouta could be with her at all times, and despite all the time that already passed, Pai was still wary of going to public bathrooms alone. But she knew that it was better for Haru and Shouta to be the ones at school, protecting Shiori, than Pai herself. She was weak on her own, nothing compared to two Daitengu.

She was also still wary of accidentally falling asleep somewhere, and not waking up with the same mind that had gone to sleep. She knew that Shiori could hardly believe that Pai was capable of attacking her or anyone, really, but Pai still remembering the way her stomach shrivelled in on itself when she'd woken up that night she'd attacked Shin, with only foggy memories to call upon.

She didn't tell anyone, but sometimes, her nightmares weren't memories. Sometimes they were dreams where she lost control of herself and Kuniumi took over, holding a knife to Shiori's throat, dragging it across pale skin, watching the blood flow like so much water. She couldn't decide which was worse – her own nightmarish memories, or the dreams she was scared could become reality.

Kouta told first the Daitengu about everything she said, and then, with her reluctant permission, Yukiji and Mizutani (no one even thought of telling the kids. Just facing the Daitengu alone was traumatizing enough). Despite that, despite knowing what she'd done, none of the Daitengu looked at her any differently. It was like she hadn't spilled her guts out at all, for how little everyone who knew changed how they acted around her.

Kaede only made a passing comment about understanding why her reflexes were so good, as well as why her being able to instinctively guess how her opponent would move suddenly made sense (a remark that earned him a sharp rap on the head from Shouta with the book he'd been reading at the time). Yukiji and Mizutani were as they always had been; treating her like she was their little sister, with a bit more care, like she was fragile glass that would break if handled incorrectly.

But they didn't treat her like the murderer she was.

She was shocked beyond words that Kouta hadn't turned her out. Shin was annoyed that she'd gone ahead and asked him when she was to leave, but she hadn't expected Kouta to flat-out refuse to let her leave. Shiori's anger when she found out that Pai tried to leave months ago had come out of the blue, as well. Pai hated the things she'd said to Shiori to explain herself, but they needed to be said.

She was grateful beyond words that they still accepted her as their family, that they were willing to put up with the danger her past brought to them...but she was also worried. Not just worried, but terrified.

Everything she'd said was true. So Fu didn't let their Agents go just with the snap of their fingers. If they did, they wouldn't exist – no one, or at least not enough to carry on a silent war, would willingly follow their orders. The only way out of So Fu was to die.