Ink Stained

34: phantasmal normal*

偽の通常

Walking to school come the end of winter break was surreal. None of it felt real.

As they trudged down the mountain path towards the main road to school, Shiori chattered about how she wished the break was longer, how much work they'd have to be doing now that it was smack dab in the middle of the school year even though they were just getting back from winter break, how she was excited and nervous for the basketball game next week Friday that would kickstart the season of inter-school competitions.

Pai listened to her, as she always did, but it was with one ear. While half of her was paying somewhat limited attention to Shiori, dutifully nodding where she needed to and humming when the silence would be too obvious, the other half was marvelling at how unreal everything felt.

Shiori acted as if everything was fine. Pai supposed that that was the case, everything was fine – but it was still so strange to actually live the fact. It was like she wasn't in her own body, or as if she had been put in somebody else's life, where things went along as normal as they did every other day.

Here she was, back to square one, going to school where for the last month she had been embroiled in the tumultuous events that began when she was kidnapped by the Onihitokuchi. She was an actor trying to pretend she was something that didn't feel right, didn't feel like her.

It was like none of it ever happened.

The sun still rose over the horizon and lit the world as well as it could through the heavy clouds lingering over the city as a light dusting of snow fell from the skies. People heading to work, cars honking loudly, aggressively loud crows cawing – the sounds of life filled the air. She could see people milling about in the distance ahead, walking around in the city and going about their daily lives.

If life was a person, she thought as she tipped her head back to look through the bare-backed branches of the trees stretching out their naked limbs to form a canopy over her head. It would be warm on the outside, but with a heart of stone. If life was a person, it would be wholly impervious to the circumstances and events revolving around any single person.

She didn't know how she felt about that.

The same thing was happening in Ayashi House, and that only made her more confused. Everyone was practising the 'don't speak, don't tell' system, as if by doing so it would mean that it had never happened. The kids came back, and because of them, everything around the house was lively again. There was hardly any silence to fill the corners of the house.

Smiles lit up everyone's faces, laughter rang out in the halls again, and she woke to the sounds of feet rapidly pounding on the floor as the kids ran through the halls, waking everybody up for breakfast despite Obaasan yelling at them to not run. If she ignored the tension in the air (a feeling she was sure was only coming from her, as nobody else in the house seemed to notice it), it was almost like everything had returned to normal, as far as everyone was concerned.

Almost.

The only thing that was different was that, after Yuu healed from the injuries he sustained in his fight with Shinigami, Shin left.

Not permanently, not again. She'd asked Daichi of it, just to make sure, but...Shin just – left. Went out. Took leave. Vanished from the radar with a vague promise to be back soon. At least, that's what Daichi said, in not so many words.

When was soon, she wondered.

That had been two weeks ago. She didn't think anybody found that weird, since Shin went off on his own without a word to anyone as to where he was going often enough. She always knew when he was gone, from little things she noticed in the house, but she'd never been able to find a pattern to determine when would be the next time he'd disappear off on his own, or when he'd come back.