Fear, Love and Snow

Chapter 4

He's happy that people are finally starting to give up on trying to pointlessly help him, making being alone a lot easier knowing that people aren't always desperately worrying about him, wanting to help him all the time. Who can help him control these cursed powers anyway? Who could understand? Oh yeah, that's right. No one.

However, there is one person that is refusing to give up, no matter how many times he is shut down and rejected, or how sad, hurt and confused he feels. Scott determinedly wants to help his best friend with whatever it is he is going through. Scott is a little upset when the rest of the pack start to give up. They still care about Stiles of course, but have given up on trying. Not Scott though. Stiles' stubbornness has definitely rubbed off on him. He already lost Allison, his first girlfriend and his first love. Kira and Scott broke up near the start of senior year. There's no way that Scott is going to lose Stiles too. They just can't. They've been through so much together. Sometimes, as he stares at himself in the mirror and the little lock of white hair, he can't help but feel like he really should know what's bothering Stiles and that maybe there is something more than the nogitsune that is on his mind. Scott tries to dig deep into his mind to try and figure something out, but he always draws a blank. Nothing ever comes to him. Stiles has just decided to shut him out, a lot like he did when they were both eight, but this time, it's a lot worse and it doesn't look like it is going to end any time soon.

On this Wednesday afternoon, instead of driving home after school, Scott drives his motorbike to Stiles' house, determined to try and talk to Stiles again. He doesn't know how much luck he will have, but he knows that he has to keep on trying. Stiles can't shut Scott out forever. No way. Scott won't let him.

He parks his motorbike in the driveway, next to Stiles' jeep. The Sheriff is still at work, considering his car isn't there. Scott jumps off his bike, takes off his helmet and rushes to the front door. He doesn't bother knocking, as he knows Stiles will never answer the door. Instead, he takes out the key he had made a couple of years ago (which matches with Stiles' copied key to Scott's house as well) and unlocks the front door. He steps inside, making sure to shut the door behind them. He looks around in curiosity. Stiles is nowhere to be seen downstairs, so Scott decides to head upstairs. The stairs creak a little under Scott's feet, a very familiar sound to him. As Scott climbs the stairs, he remembers the times that he and Stiles tried to slide down the hand rail of the stair case when they were about seven. That ended up with them getting very bruised and feeling very sore for days. Not to mention how much they got yelled sternly at by their parents. Scott chuckles at the memory.

Scott reaches the top of the stairs and starts walking down to Stiles' bedroom door. He tries the handle, but just like always, it's locked. It also feels surprisingly cold, but that has been like that for ages too. The next thing that Scott tries to do is knock three times on the door, trying to make it sound cheerful and friendly. Of course, there's no answer, nor does the door unlock. Scott's heart sinks and his eyes start to water with tears. He leans against the door, his face pressed against the cold wood, closing his eyes as a few tears escape and roll down his face. Scott just feels so lost and alone right now. He just wants his best friend back. He doesn't know why Stiles just suddenly went away. Doesn't Stiles understand that Scott will help him?

"Stiles? I know you're in there. Please just let me in." Scott says, loud enough for anyone on the other side to hear. Once again no answer.

"You know that I'll never give up. Everyone else is still really worried about you, man. I am too." Scott continues, knowing that Stiles is listening.

"I can help, okay? Whatever it is, I can help you... The nogitsune wasn't your fault, Stiles. You don't need to blame yourself for it, nor do you need to blame yourself for Aiden or... Or Allison. That's not your fault. I would never blame you for it." Scott speaks right at the door, his eyes still closed and the tears slowly dripping down his face.

"I really miss you, Stiles. We all do, but me especially. You're my best friend. You have been my best friend ever since I can remember. Please, just let me help you." Scott tries again, his voice gets a little shaky as he tries to hold back the sobs. All that Scott is met with in answer is silence.

"I don't understand, Stiles. Where did you go? What happened? Why won't you talk to anyone... Why won't you talk to me? What are we going to do?" Scott asks, crying a little bit harder.

"I'm right out here for you, Stiles. Just let me in. Please." Scott continues, sounding more desperate. He then turns his back on the door and slides down it until he's sitting on the ground. He hugs his knees to his chest and leans his head back on the cold, wooden door.

"Do you want to build a snowman?" Scott barely manages to choke out the question weakly and in vain, his last ditch effort trying to remind Stiles of what they used to be and what he still wants them to be, as the activity is something that they always did together in winter up at the cabin that the Stilinskis rent for a week. They didn't go this winter, because of Stiles and how he has been locked up in his room for basically the whole time. Playing in the snow with Stiles are some of Scott's favorite memories, and he is sure that they are some of Stiles' favorites too. Scott then starts sobbing softly, burying his face in his hands, feeling completely lost and alone, not knowing what to do to help Stiles, feeling a bit heartbroken at that realization also.

Little does Scott know that Stiles is leaning against the door on the other side, listening to Scott's every word and all of his crying and sobbing, with the same sad tears running down Stiles' face. He feels horrible for making Scott feel like this. Stiles has found a way to hurt Scott again and it breaks Stiles' heart. He never wanted this. Stiles knows that he loves Scott. He's loved him and has been in love with Scott since before Stiles really knew what love was, which of course makes the issue of finding another way to hurt Scott even worse. Stiles is very afraid of loving Scott though, having no idea how Scott would feel about that. Stiles hardly thinks that Scott would ever feel the same way, so he has to keep it to himself. Just another secret that Stiles has to keep bottled up inside. He starts crying softly as well, letting his head continue to lean against the door and the tears roll down his face as he stares at his room, which is almost all covered in ice and snow, the snow seeming to appear and fall from nowhere.