"we get it! apple music doesn't have wrapped can you not drag me. all my music is already on here, it's too late to switch."
"i'm not dragging you! i'm just saying the truth."
"shawn, i will kick your ass."
"and for what! i'm just saying!"
* * *
"shawn, we've been driving around for the past like half hour. you're wasting gas. we can go on that walk instead?" i suggest.
shawn nods and pulls over in a parking spot next to the park. "i have an extra hoodie in the back if it's too cold."
i open the door and tried to feel for a breeze that didn't come. "i think it'll be fine. come on." i softly tug on his hand before letting go to get out of the car and wait for him on the sidewalk.
he joins my side and we began walking around the park covered in lights and decorations.
"i actually have something for you," shawn says as we approach the large decorated gazebo.
"hm?"
he holds a small brown paper bag with subtle christmas-y art on it. "it's small, but i thought you'd like it."
i looked at him skeptically before taking the bag and opening it to find my favorite dried mangos and a bag of peanut m&m's. i excitedly gave him a hug. "thank you, thank you! how'd you even get your hands on these? they don't even sell these ones here."
"i know! so i knew i had to pick at least a few of them up for you while i was in the states."
"stop, i love you, i don't know how to thank you."
"with a kiss?" i fake gag at his response, but kiss his cheek anyways. "i'll take it. there's also a christmas card in there, i don't know if you saw."
"no, i got too excited about the mangos," i chuckle as i look back in the bag and spot the envelope. "maybe also putting the card in a brown envelope in a brown bag wasn't the best choice?"
"yeah, i'm realizing that now." he smiles.
i hold the envelope as i sit on top step of the gazebo. shawn follows and sits beside me, playing with his fingers. i pull his hand onto my lap so he doesn't start to bite his nails. "why are you getting nervous?"
"i'm waiting for you to read the card! come on, mei."
"okay, pushy! i'm reading, i'm reading." i quickly open the envelope to read the card.
「 merry christmas, mills! i don't even know how to really start this so i'll just get into it. i don't mean to repeat myself but i'm sorry for these past few months. i know i could have called you or texted you and just kept in contact with you and i'm sorry i didn't. i know it felt like i didn't put in the effort to talk to you at all, i just truly didn't know what to say or how to say it. but i'm saying it now. you mean so much to me yet i didn't treat you as such just because i needed to sort out my own feelings and to an extent it wasn't fair to you. you're so bright and brilliant and beautiful and every synonym that fits the alliteration in between. i need you to know that. you deserve the world and so so much more. i feel like this is getting too serious, but it's just important to me that you know!! i would give you the universe if that meant for you to continue smiling. i love you so so much. 我爱你, shawn
p.s. i'm sorry i completely butchered those characters. i tried my best. ･ᴗ･
」
i felt my eyes began to water and heart began to swell. "you're the cutest. and your characters really aren't that bad, white boy. though my family uses traditional."
"o-oh." shawn's eyes widen as he begins stuttering. "w-wait what did i use?"
"you used simplified but it's fine. it's adorable." i grin at him.
shawn lets out a deep sigh. "so you like it? i'm not gonna lie, i had to practice writing that a ton before i thought it looked presentable. you know, for someone who writes for a living, i sure as hell didn't know the words to say to you and i thought it was just—"
"shawn, hey! calm down. i love it, a lot. thank you," i say as i lay the card on my lap and grab his face to look at me. "really, this means so much to me." my eyes only became glossier as i met his. "i love it so so much. and if anything i should be the one apologizing for not having anything prepared." my eyes drooped as i let my hands down.
"no, please don't cry! you really didn't have to. you being here is enough." he pauses. "i may have apologized before, but i just really need you to know how much i've missed you these past months and i'm truly sorry for everything, mills. i'm so glad to have you back in my life. and about the effort part in there, cam told me how you felt and i hate that i made you think that and i don't even know how to make up for making you feel that way."
"you're here now, aren't you?" i intertwine our hands and lay my head on his shoulder. "and the amount of effort you put into this. that's far more than enough that i could ever ask for."
"god, how did i get so lucky?"
"i know right?" i chuckle as i kiss the back of his hand. "but thank you again, shawn. for giving me the best christmas present and being the sweetest boyfriend... that's so weird to say out loud."
"i know, i get to call you my girlfriend." he kisses my forehead before whispering, "i love you, mei. a whole lot."
i lift my head to search his eyes. biting my bottom lip to prevent my cheeks from further aching from smiling so hard. "i love you too, shawn."
—
millie.c
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Liked by shawnmendes and 41,568 others millie.c merry christmas eve im in my pajamas in this. just a fun fact <3
shawnmendes: stunning — millie.c: you sure know how to sweet talk huh — shawnmendes: i was talking abt my photography skills but you're cute too — millie.c: DAMN OKAY
