All is Fair: Zayn Malik Fanfiction

Chapter 33

I can hear the smile in his voice. Honestly, I would not mind getting something to eat. I run my fingers through my hair and tuck some behind my ear. What if Harry knew I was with Zayn? What would I do then?

"Take me home," I say.

He shoves my shoulder a little bit. I know he is going to be persistent, but I can't be doing this with him. "You're not hungry, or anything?"

"I want to go home," I assert.

He pauses at my side. "Alright," he mutters. He immediately walks away with his hands in his pockets.

I can't help but feeling bad about what I said to him, and how I said it. Maybe I was a bit harsh? Maybe Harry would not mind if Zayn and I were to get food, at least maybe not as much as I think he would?

I'm lying to myself and I know it.

I stand up and walk to Zayn who is with Safaa and Eve and a couple of the moms. After we talk to the two women about how the girls are going to get home, I say goodbye to Eve, and Zayn to Safaa, and the two of us walk back to Zayn's car. I force myself into the car, but all I can think about is how badly I would rather not have to go through this.

He gets into the driver's seat next to me. I can remember distinctly all the times I have been in this position with him. First when he took me to the beach. Then to the zoo. Then to see the stars. And now, all these years later, ice skating. Romantic, huh?

It's just starting to get darker outside. The rain from earlier today is gone, but clouds still cover the sky. Zayn starts the car and leaves the parking lot, beginning the drive to my mother's house.

For a minute, it's quiet. Zayn is not playing music, and he isn't talking, so I consider this the best possible scenario we could have together. But guilt is chewing at me because I know that he is only silent because I rejected him. I am not sure if I want to ruin it though, so I am torn as to what to do.

"You hate me, don't you?" Zayn asks, staring out the windshield with a furrowed brow and a soft frown.

"What?" I have to make sure I heard that right.

"After all the shit I've done to you, you hate me. Am I right?"

Yes.

"Zayn." I do not know how to respond. If he did not sound so serious, I would have spoken the first word that came to mind, and I would have dramatized it. But he sounds hurt, and guilty, and I've never wanted to hate anyone, let alone actually tell them that I hate them. Plus, I'm foggy on how much hate I do have for him right now, so telling him I do might not be exactly true.

"I'd see why," he says. Silence overcomes the car as we both are thinking. I don't know at all. I don't know if I hate him. But even If I do, am I supposed to flat out tell him I do? Why would I do that? "You've said before that you hate me," he tells me in the same melancholy tone.

I have, haven't I? Well, yeah. But he was cornering me, kissing my neck and telling me I did not love Harry. I consider myself justified.

"I didn't believe you then. I'd believe you now."

Morally, I do not think I could tell him that. "You want me to tell you that I hate you?" I ask. "No. I'm not going to say that."

He shrugs. "Well if that's how you feel then just tell me." I stay silent, refusing to play with him. "Fine. I knew it anyways."

I am fed up. He's acting like a child. I roll my eyes and begin to speak louder. "You want to know what I feel about you?" He nods, which just pisses me off more. "I hate that you are so touchy." He smiles to himself, bringing me to another thing I hate about him.