Stains

Reality Sets Us Apart

"You suffered some serious blows in the car wreck." Lyndsey started. They'd gone from a beautiful beach to the small apartment back in New York in a matter of seconds. Mare was fully clothed in her leather jacket and distressed jeans. All of them were in their clothes they had been most comfortable in. In the place they were always in. "Your body had a delayed internal bleeding, but when you fell over in the garden, something busted and you're in the limbo." She said softly.

"Where's Max?" Mare asked.

"We haven't found him yet." Greg said quickly.

"What does that mean?" Mare asked.

Lyndsey shrugged. "We assume it either means he had a religion or he might have survived."

"So, how do you know that I was alive or that I was injured?" She pressed.

"Well, for the past few days you've had one foot in and out of limbo which means we can talk to you, but we were in your world. Now that you're dying, you're here." Greg said.

"But, you aren't dead yet. The cramp in your side is a surgery." Lyndsey added. By the look on Mare's face, anyone could tell she felt sick.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mare asked.

"How could we?" Lyndsey asked. There was a sting of silence that followed where nobody knew what to say. Mare was still dumbfounded, Lyndsey was afraid, and Greg felt like he was at a funeral for someone who was about to be buried alive. All the world was quiet and it was just that apartment, in the kitchen, at that table with three beautiful people. None of whom could apologize or cry.

"To be honest," Greg began, "For the past five years, you've been the worst version of yourself. I've seen them all. Before Lyndsey, during Lyndsey, After, during winter, during summer, on drugs and off. But, these past five years have been so hard to watch. You go on and off drugs like they're a fad and you don't let anyone near you. I love you so much, but not like this. Not how you've been."

"I shouldn't have fallen in love, is the moral of the story." Mare said monotonously staring into the stained yellow table. "I should have picked up one night stands, never met her, right? Or maybe, after my heart was crushed and scattered to the winds, I should have decided to be a better person. Live and let go. But, I let it ruin me. And I can't say that I made the best decision. But I made one. Let me tell you guys what has happened. I did fall in love, and I did make friends. I lived my life, and I died. It's been fun, it's been full, and now it's over."

"Mare, you can go back. This is where you decide that you don't want to keep fighting, and if you want to, you can live." Lyndsey said. Her voice was cracking as she spoke, but she managed a smile for enforcement.

"Live and do what?" She let the words burst out of her. "Hurt more? Lose more? What Lyndsey? Find someone new and make a life? Sure." She scoffed. "I need air." She said and got up from the table. When she stormed out, she opened the door to an open forest. Birds flew overhead and the trees swayed in the wind. She could feel the wind, but it didn't chill her. It was a warm summer breeze on a day with the perfect temperature. Despite her thick coat and multiple layers of clothing, the air felt just right. The wind whipped in the trees and she took in a deep breath that filled her lungs.

She sat there looking over the mountain range. Her mind fluttered about at every moment she had endured and lived through. Long ago, she was alone in an apartment her mother owned in a small city who nobody would care to recall the name of. Her mother came in occasionally with her long-term boyfriend, but she mostly had the house to herself. In the long line of all the mistakes she made, stealing from her father's stash and selling it to buy groceries was the worst decision she had ever made. But, her sisters were hungry and their mother was absent. Fourteen-year-old Meredith handling small bags of weed and selling them in the school. She was an idiot. But, on top of the horrible things she'd done, she had done some amazing things too. She decided to live. When her grandmother told her that she had to stay with her mother and the twins would no longer be a concern for an underage girl, she still picked them up from school. And she met the love of her life at 16. Really, she was an amazing person.