Stains

Sweet Child of Mine

Mare closed her eyes while they sat in the car. She could imagine the road that they took as the car moved with each turn. Her head rested against the window and rolled with the movements, but she kept her eye closed and her head towards the window. As she began to feel tired, they got closer to their home. They pulled into a parking space and she waltzed into her home and to her room lazily pulling off her boots and falling onto the bed. She rolled over and reached her arm around the person already laying there. She smiled as she felt their long hair tickling her nose lightly. They rolled over and their face pushed up against her own. She felt the sensation of their long eyelashes against her cheek and she smiled happily.

"I didn't mean to wake you." She said, but she could imagine their eyes opening and their golden irises peering up at her with a crinkle of smiling next to them. Then, she didn't feel so bad about waking them up.

"I forgive you." They said warmly and wrapping their arms around her waist. She felt so warm under the touch that she didn't even need blankets to cover her. "You know your hair is getting long?" They said.

"Huh?" Mare said tiredly, but listening to them speak as if it was a song she wanted stuck in her head.

"Your hair is longer than I've ever seen it." They said reaching one hand up to touch her hair. "Remember when we met and you wanted to shave your head?" They said with warm thoughts slipping from their tongue.

"Remember when you cut it?" Mare asked and thought to when it was much shorter. Then, it was right over her shoulders, now it was down her back. Her hair grew like weeds through sidewalk cracks, it was overnight and a nuisance to deal with. Not that it was curly or anything, it was straight as a board, but as thick as molasses.

"I cut it fine, you just tilted your head and made it uneven." They said.

"I sat straight up." Mare defended.

After a moment of silence, Mare began to whisper tiredly, "I like this." She said. She could feel the person in her arms breathing in and out, in and out, in twice and out for one long time. She could feel their little breaths on her jaw and the tingling of her body going to sleep. Their body's entwined so innocently that her heart fluttered and released itself.

"Come home more often." They said. She thought about it. As she did, she could imagine them making midnight feasts together and sleeping in on Sunday mornings. But, the more she thought about it, the less she could see it. She wanted to think that there was a time for those moments. But all she could do was lay still and embrace the warmth of embrace. "Two sugars and honey." They said.

"What?" Mare asked curiously. She didn't stir or open her eyes until she felt the slipping away of her dream.

"If you wake her up I will kill you." They said, their voice distorting.

Then Mare woke up, her head hurting and her heart breaking. It had happened twice. Of course, it had been numerous times before the two, but they became much more vivid and less like dreams. Reality had no differentiating dimension compared to her dream. She held at her aching head in her hands and leaned against the door needing the cold perspiration from the window and the support of the locked hinges. Two dreams, both surreal and made her feel alien but all the same, at home. It bothered her, annoyed her, more than it saddened her. The fact that it could've been real, felt more like real life than her actual life, that bothered her. No, she thought, maybe it wasn't the idea of an alternate reality but more of her wanting it back. Or, it was her wanting so desperately to have it crawling back into her bed and wrapping its arms around her one more time and kissing her on the cheek softly that bothered her. Maybe it was all of the missing 'I love you's or the car rides late at night, or the city lights on their faces or the rain pulling them together for safety under an umbrella.