Shattered

The Accident

I had gotten into an accident towards the end of junior year. A reckless driver was driving so fast on a local street for no goddamn reason, and he was texting on top of that. I was crossing the road, and I wasn't paying attention, and he hit me.

They rushed me to the hospital, and my parents and brother were so freaked out. First I got lectured hardcore by my mom for not paying attention while crossing, and then she went to yell at the cops to charge the guy. After that, she lectured the driver as well. Moms are moms, what can you do? I was in really terrible condition. I couldn't move my neck, and one of my legs broken, and one of my arms sprained, so I had a cast on that as well. Let's just say that the depression plus this accident was not going to lead to anything good. My thoughts were only getting worse, and nowhere near better.

The nurses had to keep a close eye on me because my heart kept racing or slowing down. The doctors were confused on what was going on to me, but they kept a close eye on me. You might wonder if they saw the scars all over my arms, right? Well yes, but I cut myself a certain way where it doesn't look like I cut myself, I just blamed the accident, to be honest, and they believed it.

You might be wondering if Yousuf or Noah found out about the accident or if they came to see me, and the answer is yes. They both came to see me at the same time. The funny thing is, Noah came inside first and then two seconds later, Yousuf walked in. They were both anxious about me, but not worried enough to not fight. They were both arguing with each other about how they should've prevented this from happening and all that. They argued mainly about who cared more about me. In the end, they both said to me, "You have to choose one of us." My mouth fell open out of shock and anger. How can they make me choose while I'm in a hospital bed? I told them both that I needed time. I didn't even get a chance to talk to Noah after the diner lunch, and now they both throw it in my face that I need to make a decision.

I definitely needed Jesus Christ at this moment because I couldn't make this decision. I love Noah and Yousuf, how can I let one of them go? I need them both in my life, but I had to be realistic about my decision. I probably forgot to mention that Noah already graduated from high school, he is supposed to be in his freshmen year of college, but he chose not to go. Yousuf is a senior in high school, but not in my high school. Yousuf graduated the week before my accident. My parents wouldn't approve of Noah because he didn't go to college, and he drinks sometimes. Yousuf is someone my parents would accept of since he was so religious and had such a strong faith in God.

I knew I had to break the news and choose Yousuf. I had no choice. I called Noah and spoke to him about it, and he just started to cry so much and tried to tell me he would do anything for me to choose him, but I had no choice. My decision wasn't about my happiness anymore; this was about my parents. If this were about my happiness, I would've chosen Noah. Noah has been the love of my life since the first time I met him. Yes, Yousuf is a wonderful guy that has never done anything wrong to me, he has just done amazing things for me, but he would barely listen. All he ever wanted was affection. Noah bothered to listen to me and be there for me whenever I would have a breakdown, but I chose Yousuf. Noah left my life altogether, which left my chest empty. Yousuf had to be the right choice, right?

I cried for days because I chose Yousuf and Noah was no longer in my life. Although I was at the hospital, feeling trapped, I could not stop crying. Had I made the right choice?