fan girl // niall horan

n i n e

Fridays were may favorite day of the week because I had neither class or work. It was my day to do whatever I wanted.

Out of all the things I could do, I decided to sit on the couch and tune into Niall's performance on the Today Show. When we hung out, he told me how excited he was to be a guest again so I thought I could show him some support by watching.

I forced Foley to watch with me for a bit before he went to the gym.

"He looks so happy up there" I smiled as he performed 'Slow Hands'.

"Yeah, he's probably thinking of eating you out in a public restroom" Foley commented casually, causing me to hit his arm.

"Shut uppp" I whined.

"I mean, I'm probably right" He shrugged, making me blush slightly.

"You're not" I disagreed.

"Have you guys talked since?" He asked.

I shook my head, "No. He hasn't texted me, but it's understandable. He's a busy guy"

Once he finished the last song, the hosts of the Today Show joined him onstage for a quick interview. I nearly choked on my water when I heard my name.

"So, you probably know what we're going to ask since it's all that everyone's been talking about.." The interviewer smiled, "But, how are you and third year UConn student Gabi Lowe doing?

Niall chuckled at this, "First example of why you shouldn't believe anything on the internet! Gabi and I aren't dating"

I smiled at his cool and casual way of dismissing the dating rumors. Hopefully the hate coming towards me will stop.

The interviewer furrowed her eyebrows, "No? But it seems like you two were getting fairly cozy at her birthday party!"

He then shook his head, "It was just for a picture. She doesn't mean any more to me than just a friend"

I know what he was trying to do, but that comment stung a little more than it should have. I mean, a few days ago he was telling me that I was special and that I made him feel a way that no one else did. Now I'm just a friend?

"Glad you cleared that all up then! So if you're not dating Gabi, are you still looking for that someone special?" She asked.

"Not at the moment. I'm honestly just enjoying being single" He replied with a smile.

"Lovely! Well, thank you Niall for a great performance!" The interviewer cheered.

"Thank you for having me! Always a pleasure" Niall beamed.

He walked off the stage, leaving my stomach in knots.

"You okay?" Foley asked softly when he saw my facial expression.

"Yeah" I nodded, not meaning what I was saying.

How could I be okay? After he asks to kiss me after watching Stranger Things, I'm nothing more than a friend? After spending over $1000 on a birthday present for me, I'm nothing more than a friend? After Niall flew across the country to celebrate my birthday with me for a few hours, I'm nothing more than a friend? After I let him be intimate wth me in a bathroom, I'm nothing more than a friend?

I hated this feeling. I don't even know what I felt. Used? Pathetic? Whatever it was, I didn't like it.

When Foley left for the gym, I went up to my room and just laid in my bed, feeling absolutely awful. How could I let myself think that Niall Horan actually wanted me? How could I have been that stupid?