| Olivia |
self harm warning.
*
Oh, what's the use. I just hurtled a remote at the one and only man who cares about me, and back-talked him.
I'm terrible. That's the only thing that runs through my head as I breathe heavily, running into my room as I slammed the door with a force that revealed how upset I was. I lock my door, leaving Patrick banging his fists on it. "OLIVIA!"
I ignored him. I felt worthless as I have for most of my life... before I met Patrick. I hesitated, thinking harsh thoughts as Patrick hollered my name. Does he really care?
I took out a knife, rolling up my sleeves. I just about partly sliced my once beautiful, pale skin before I heard a loud, cacophonous crash come from behind me. I whipped around in shock, blood dripping down from my one wound. My pupils shook along with the rest as my body as I sat apprehensively.
Patrick had kicked down my door, instantly darting over to me. He ripped the knife from my hand, his expression outraged and hurt.
His eyes switched a look to my arm which I cut, sobbing even more. "Olivia..."
I felt shame and guilt arise from my spine, cold to my neck and allowing a surge of chill to rest in my fuzzy brain. I wanted to disappear. I put my forehead to the ground, crying. "N-No.."
"Why did you do this to yourself?" Patrick gripped my wrist. I wanted to rip it away, but I've already done enough to him.
Elisabeth came through the door, alarmed. "BLOODY HELL! WHAT IS GO- Patrick?" She glared at her husband, who was crouched down on the floor sobbing beside me.
Patrick looked at her through teary eyes. Her gaze caught my scarred wrist, her reaction causing a gasp. She too skidded over to me.
"When did you do this?" Elisabeth scanned through my arm. Though it was just one cut, it could've resulted in so much more damage to myself.
"Just now," I admit, unable to meet anyone's gaze. I kept my eyes on a specific spot on the wall. "All I do is cause trouble."
"That's not tr-"
"MY DAD IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE LOOKING FOR YOU!" I snapped, causing Patrick to flinch. Elisabeth blocked the way of the wall I was staring at and I sigh, my gaze slowly flickering up towards them. I soothed myself. "I'm sorry..."
"No." Patrick let go of my wrist. "I apologize."
I feared he would say something like for adopting you, or for wasting my time on you.
He said something opposite; "I'm sorry for being such a bad father, to where you can't even feel safe around me." He choked out the words.
Elisabeth was still glaring at my arms, so I quickly coughed and rolled down my sleeves. I turn my attention toward my father.
"No," I lock his gaze into mine, meeting him straight in the eye. "You're a wonderful dad. Without you or Elisa, I could've already killed myself."
Patrick's blue eyes kept staring into mine, and I saw them soften up a bit. "I-"
"My dad is out there, somewhere. He's looking for me," I felt my eyes grow watery again.
"I don't want you to be hurt because of me."
Patrick and Elisabeth only froze, looking at each other. They turn back to me. Patrick spoke up : "We will do our best to help you."
I felt myself connect with them again into a soft hug. I felt safe in their embraces. After minutes of silence, I let go.
"Sorry for making you break down your door," I awkwardly looked to the rusty door.
"You could've done something if I hadn't," Patrick bit his lower lip.
"But it wi-"
"Don't sweat it," Patrick pats my shoulder. He stood up, turning to walk with Elisabeth out the door. He paused before he could take a step, and Elisabeth continued out the doorway.
He scanned my room for any sharp objects, collecting them until my room was empty of them. He looked at me, his dull gaze concerned, then hurried down the hallway.
*
Patrick didn't sleep well that night knowing his daughter is practically suicidal. He tossed and turned, until eventually Elisabeth got up.
"Patrick..." she groaned.
"Sorry." Patrick looked away.
Elisabeth sat up. "Well, I'm awake now. What's wrong?"
"Our daughter is suicidal, and I can't do anything to help." He whimpered.
Elisabeth pulled him in to a hug. "Baby.. we saved her life."
"Her dad out there is going to find her, and I don't know what to do." Patrick clutched on to his wife, sobbing.
Elisabeth's heart shattered. "Pa-"
"I feel like a failure," Patrick whimpered. "I've always wanted a daughter or a son, and now that I got one, she's suicidal. I don't know how to help her!"
Elisabeth flinched from his rant. "She needs our help."
"I've been trying," Patrick growled through gritted teeth. Elisabeth flinched again. Elisabeth turned her head away.
Patrick opened his mouth, letting out a soft whimper and pulled his wife to him. "I'm sorry, Elisa... there's just so many issues going on."
"I understand." She let herself stay in Patrick's grip, which allowed Patrick to kiss her neck hungrily a few times, in his thoughts trying to push Olivia to the back of his mind.
"Stoppppp," Elisabeth grunted, pulling away from him. "I'm not in the mood."
Patrick sighed, turning away. "I'm sorry."
Elisabeth didn't reply. She twisted to the position her back, eyeing the dark cieling with worry. "What will we do if her dad finds her?"
Patrick froze, taking seconds to answer; "I would die protecting her from that horrible beast."
Sorry for the short chapter! It's currently 5:00 am and I have school in two hours. Bye!
