Chapter Eight

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***

My hands covered my mouth. I looked down at Travis with wide eyes. My head started to spin in confusion. I looked away and shook my head. I couldn't get married. I had only been out of high school for two years and I wasn't even thinking about marriage. There was no way I could get married. Not now, but how could I say no to Travis. He was one of the most caring boys in my life and I truly did love him. He meant to world to me. I looked back at Travis who was still smiling at me. I twitched. This was going to be the hardest thing I probably would have to do.

"Travis," I started, "I have commitment issues." I finally dropped my hands. Travis raised his eyebrow at me.

"We have been dating for two years. We have lived together for almost a year and a half  now. We have had sex plenty of times. Since when did you have commitment issues?" He put his hand on my shoulder while shutting the box with the ring in it. I shook my head.

"It's just," I bit my lip, "I'm not ready to get married." I lightly pulled away from Travis' grip. I could see his heart break. I bit back my tears. This relationship that we had worked on for two years was now going to end because I couldn't say yes.

"Maybell," Travis reached out for my hand, "I'm willing to get married now. I love you so much. You mean the absolute world me. We can do this. We can raise a family and have the money to keep them stable. Together we could raise children and grow old together," Travis started grinning to himself. I felt a tear crawl down my cheek. We weren't on the same page and it actually broke my heart. I wanted to go back to the beginning of today and stop Travis from bringing me here. I wanted to cuddle with him in bed all day. But that wasn't the case.

"Travis. I know you love me. I know I love you, but I'm not ready. I'm not ready to settle down and have children and ruin my social life. I'm only twenty. You have a tour coming up-" I started.

"You can come with me," He butted in. I shook my head.

"I'm not staying in a bus with a bunch of smelly boys for two months," I laughed slightly to myself.

"Is it because of Vic?" Travis looked straight at me. I gasped.

"No way. He has nothing to do with this," Travis covered my mouth.

"We all joke about it Maybell, but he truly does like you. You don't see the way he looks at you when you smile. He really does love you Maybell, but you can't see it. It hurts when he looks at you as if you are dating him because you aren't," Travis started to shake. He was about to cry. If Travis started to cry I might as well cry as well. The only other time I had seen him cry was when Danny wouldn't talk to him.

"Travis, he is my best friend. He doe-" I started, but once again Travis butted in.

"Haven't you realized that he hasn't had a girlfriend in years. He is waiting for you! He loves you god dammit and that scares me every fucking day! I don't want to lose you," Travis screamed and cried at the same time. My mouth opened a bit and I looked away.

"I want to go home," I whispered.

"Excuse me," Travis said in between his sobs.

"I want to go home," I said a little louder. I looked at Travis again. He nodded and started to walk away from me. Our perfect night was over.

***

"Can you drop me off at Vic's tonight?" I broke the awkward silence that had been lingering between us pretty much the whole ride home. He nodded and stopped at Vic's house. I got out without saying goodbye.

"Maybell," Travis called out. I turned to see his cheek red and puffy.

"We'll write a song that turns out the lights. When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside," He sang out to me. I felt everything inside of me break down and I broke. The tears streamed down my face, but I wouldn't allow myself to make any noise.

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