Annalise

Chapter 23

"Thank you."

She leans against me and takes my hand.

"It's so different in here," she says, "it's like nothing outside is happening. Like You-Know-Who doesn't even exist."

"Sounds nice. Oh, I didn't mean-"

"No, it is in a way," she sighs, "it's like being in a bubble."

We sit in silence for a few minutes, then she sits up and looks over at me.

"Fred," she frowns slightly, "I don't... I don't want to have biological kids."

I blink at her, feeling shocked, then disappointed.

"I mean, I do," she says, "but I don't want them to have... Whatever is wrong with me. So... I've been thinking... And... I want you to really think about if you'd be okay with adopting, or if you want biological kids. And when I leave here, we can decide if-"

"Anna, don't even say it," I interrupt, "I want you. More than anything. If you want to adopt, we'll adopt, they'll still be our kids. I want you to be the mother of my kids, biological or not, it doesn't matter to me."

"Are you sure?" she looks doubtful.

"Yes," I say confidently, "I am 100% sure."

She smiles slightly.

"We'll have a beautiful family one day," she says, "if you ever get around to proposing, that is."

"You literally said a few days ago that you wanted to wait!"

"To get married," she says, "didn't say anything about getting engaged."

"You're impossible," I say, pulling her close to me. She kisses me under the chin.

The visit goes far too quickly.

"Well, I'll either see you next Saturday or before," she says, brushing her fingers against my cheek, "I love you."

"I love you more."

**Annalise's POV**

Unfortunately, the potions don't work as well as we had initially thought. We try different ones, but after the fifth failure I'm feeling very much like giving up.

"We'll get there," Lucas says, "it's just trial and error."

"It is a trial and there are a lot of errors..."

"See? Haven't lost your sense of humor!"

I shoot him a reproachful look and he sighs.

"I know it's frustrating," he says, sitting down in the chair next to my bed, "but we'll find the right one."

"It's been months, Lucas," I say, "I want to go home."

"You know you can, if you want."

"You know what I mean."

He sighs again and rakes his fingers through his hair.

"I wish I could just make it all better," he says, "but these things take time. Look, leave it with me, I'll see if there's anything that we might be missing or not have thought of. Meanwhile, why don't you get ready for visits today? Last visit before Christmas!"

"I don't want to," I say, rolling onto my side away from him.

"Come on, you don't want to leave Fred waiting, do you?"

"I don't care."

"Oh, Anna."

He places a hand on my shoulder, then walks out. I know I should feel bad, I should want to see Fred, but I don't. I want to give up. I want to stop fighting. What's the use? I just feel bad all the time anyway. Nothing works.