The Artist | #3✓

Chapter 13

A sigh left my lips as I rotated my aching wrist to let it crack. I'd been painting for hours, but it wasn't for the exhibition. I was done with the paintings for that. I was working on something more personal and was painting in my room to avoid the chance of anyone looking at it and making me uncomfortable or overly conscious. It was a painting of Toby, and I wasn't even sure if I was ever going to show it to him.

A smile made its way to my lips as I looked at the half-done eyes of his portrait. I'd finished off his hair a while ago—the hair I'd been allowed to touch since the incident where he'd broken down in front of me. He didn't seem to mind. He encouraged it, even, and that made me happy. My smile fell as I continued to observe the painting. I hadn't worked much around the mouth area, and it was mostly because I didn't know what to do. I'd wanted to represent his smile, but he had so many versions of it, and I still wasn't sure which one represented sincere happiness. I wanted to capture that one.

I ran a hand through my hair, looking down at the floor I'd covered in newspapers so that I wouldn't get paint on my carpet before looking back up at the painting. It was Wednesday evening, and judging from the tiredness I felt I wasn't too sure I could do any more painting, so I got up and started putting things away.

Maybe I could continue working on it later in the night if I don't feel tired anymore, or I could work on it early in the morning before I left for work. I smiled a bit at the thought, realizing that I really did want Toby to see it, but I felt a bit anxious since I couldn't guess what his reaction would be.

I left my room and headed down the stairs. The smell of stew filled my nostrils as I made my way down and got closer to the kitchen. I peeped into the room, noticing that my mum and dad were discussing in hushed tones as they both cooked. Candice was sitting by the mini dining table, scrolling through her social media feed on her tablet.

I walked away from the door as quietly as I could so that they wouldn't hear me before I made my way to the living room. I noticed that Wyatt had his friends over. He and Ji-Hun were sitting on the carpet by the couch, while Aiyana and Ben colonized the single sitter sofas. I sighed, leaving the room since I didn't want to be a bother. I'd wanted to watch TV, but that could wait. It looked like their movie on Netflix was almost done anyway.

Somehow, I ended up in the kitchen with my parents. Candice was no longer in there with them, so it was just me watching them cook as we talked about the coming exhibition and some of my father's current illustrating projects for newspapers.

"Caleb, are you listening?" My mother's voice made me look away from the slightly open kitchen door I'd turned to during our discussion. I'd realized that Wyatt had gone up with Ji-Hun, and I was wondering if the rest had left the living room as well. I turned to my mother, muttering a small apology that made her sigh before she shook her head. My father chuckled at the scene from the corner of the counter. he was dicing vegetables and meat.

"He got that from you," my mother said as she turned to my father, making him laugh harder. I smiled a bit. I guess that's true, my father also had a very short attention span.

"I was asking how your work with Mr. Toby was going. How do you find teaching in general?" she asked, turning back to the mixing bowl in front of her. "I really wasn't sure what to think when you said you wanted to do it, but you seem to be doing well since you're not making any complaints."

"Yeah..." I trailed, touching the base area of the black flower vase that was on the center of the small table. "I don't mind it. I actually enjoy it to be honest." My mum's smile widened at my words, and I watched as she nodded.

"Ah, I was having a discussion with your father about whether art education was a good field to go into in college," my mum said as my father nodded, confirming her words. "That's what Candice wants to do when she graduates. What do you think?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, watching as she smiled a little, walking over to me.

"You never know, do you?" she laughed, ruffling my already messy hair before she headed for the fridge. After spending some more time with them I got up and left the kitchen. Heading for the living room, I noticed that Ben and Aiyana were still sprawled on the couches, and by the look of things were watching another movie. I sighed, leaving the room before heading up the stairs and back to my bedroom.

I paused at Wyatt's door at the sound of laughter, peeping into the room through the small crack to find Wyatt and Ji-Hun play fighting, eventually, Ji-Hun seemed to have succeeded in pinning Wyatt down on his bed, and I turned away and made for my room when they connected lips and started going at each other.

The sudden need to wash my eyes filled me as my cheeks burned from embarrassment.

Walking back into my room, I set up the corner for my painting before I took a seat and started working on it again. If I couldn't watch TV, I might as well work on my painting. In the process of painting, I decided to go with Toby's small warm smile — the one he seemed to throw at me from time to time. I might be delusional, but I felt like he only smiled like that when he was around me. That friendly, kind, warm, thoughtful smile. I had a smile of my own on my lips as I created his on the painting. My chest was aching a bit. I felt nervous at the thought of showing it to him — at all. Maybe I should just leave it in my room when I was done.

The sound of someone knocking at my door made me look away from my painting to my room's door. I frowned a bit when the person knocked again. I sighed, getting up from the chair I'd pulled from my study desk to head for the entrance. I turned the lock, pulling the door open to find Wyatt at the other side, smiling at me.

"Hey, mum said you were in the kitchen waiting to use the TV. Ben and Aiyana aren't watching anything anymore, so you can go down if you want," he said, making me smile a bit as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Thanks..." I trailed, looking over to my painting, "but I'm working on something now."

I turned back to Wyatt to find him staring at my painting — at Toby.

"It looks great," he muttered with a small smile as he turned back to me. "Are you going to show it to him?" he asked, making me let out a small sigh as I thought about it.

"I don't know — maybe," I said, looking down at the floor. "If I finish it this night, then sure, maybe."

I heard Wyatt sigh, and I soon felt an encouraging pat on my shoulder. "Since you don't want to watch T.V. anymore I'll just tell Candice she can watch what she wants," he said, making me look up before nodding at him. He left soon after, and I got to close my door before heading back to work on my painting.

A smile took form on my lips again as I got closer to the painting's completion. I began to feel a bit excited yet anxious as I realized I'd probably be done with it today, and that I might be able to show it to Toby tomorrow. When I was officially done, I took half an hour to inspect the finished work for errors. I wasn't expecting Toby to critique it, but I wanted it to be perfect. When I was satisfied with it I put it in a corner of my room along with my stand to dry. I soon started to clean up, and I headed for my bed soon after, still very anxious and excited about how Toby might react.

I'll show him after lunch. I decided, remembering that we both didn't have many classes after our lunch break tomorrow. I slept off soon after, and my dreams were flooded with both possible instances of what could happen the next day. Toby's reaction could be horrible and he'd hate me — okay, maybe that was a little too far, but still possible. Another possibility was that he might love it and not think too much of it, although a positive reaction from him would mean the world to me. I felt queasy, and a bit restless since I kept getting up every other hour in the middle of the night. I just wanted Toby to smile — that was all the approval I needed.

I hoped he'd love it.