Imagines 'n' Stuff

Inaccurate history (but it's funny though)

Once in a far off kingdom, lived a prince. No this is not going to be one of those cliché fairytales. There are no monsters or goblins, there is no damsel in distress. Just a prince and his dog (victor).
Queen Ryan and Queen Angel fell in love, but unfortunately, science wasn't as up-to date as it is today. They so desperately wanted a child, so they took off to the orphanages, in search for a youngling to call their own.
They held kids here and there but none of them felt...right. The royals basically had given up. That is until...Evan stumbled in their path. Literally stumbled. The poor kid was bull riding and was chucked into the air! He landed on his feet but that bull wanted to show no mercy. The bull came raging after him so Evan's fight or flight response kicked in and he was running. Evan ran for about half a mile before his legs gave out. The young boy tripped over a pebble and tumbled down a hill.
Down at the bottom stood the two royals, heartbroken and frustrated. He came crashing in, the bull gave up running after him— seeing as though it was no longer worth it, but did Evan know that? No, ya idiot. His heart was in his ears and throat. Damn boy couldn't hear a thing! He rolled so quickly down the hill, his arms and legs flailing all over the place. It was madness! He was stopping by Queen Ryan's legs, more like she was shoved on top of him by him, of course.
Queen Angel was about to yell at the kid, but the sight in front of her was too funny not to laugh at. He was heaving, Ryan was confused. One minute she was facing her wife the next she sees a lizard shaped cloud. He was squirming under her, trying to wiggle his way out from under the weight.
"Get...off, you fat cow!" He shouted.
"Well I️ was going to until you insulted me. Now I think I'll just enjoy the view." She challenged.
"Who in the holy world of fuck do you think you are last? The Queen? Shit!" Her weight was crushing him.
"She is kid, one of them at least." Angel spoke, tucking her hands under his armpits and bring him to his feet. She then helped her wife up, brushing her off.
"Shit shit shit shit shit shit fUck, I'm so sorry your majesties. I️f I'd had known...fuck. Don't kill me please." He cried.
"Quit your blubbering kid, why do you smell like a pig's pen?"

"Why do you weigh so much?"

"Listen here you little twirp, you stink, I️ like food. You can either shut that little mouth of yours or I️ take you back to the top of the hill and push you again." Ryan was feisty. He contemplated his answer, choosing what to say very carefully. He looked at the steep hill, then back at the two women. "I️ think...maybe.." he bolted up the hill. Ryan took that as a challenge and took off not too long after. See, she was competitive to say the least and her wife...eh not so much. Racing this poor kid was the only sense of real competition she's had in a while. It was hard to keep up with him considering he had beaten up sneakers on and she had heels on. "This is not gonna end well." Angel mumbled to herself and she walked toward a street vendor. Hey, if her wife or the kid (but most likely her wife) was gonna lose she might as well get something out of it. Angel bought six churros, and she tread up the "stairs" composed of rocks, not too far from where the two idiots were running. They were neck and neck. "Holy fuck." Angel wheezed as she reached the top. "That...was horrible. I️ should've bought a water." She shook her head; some how the runners began running sideways instead of just a clear shot (up and done) but no. Now they're running off to the sides. Evan's shoe was slipping off but that wasn't gonna stop him from beating this "fat cow's" ass.
"You're going down, kid." Ryan laughed then focused at the task at hand. He managed to take remove both his shoes. His bare feet were hitting the ground, he picked up his speed just a bit.
He wasn't looking where he was going. They were running...on a grassy hill...he was nOt looking where he was placing his feet. His left foot stepped in something warm and somewhat moist, which caused him to lose the grip...he slipped and by the time he started falling, Ryan was catching up. She tripped over his feces coated foot and they both went down. Angel lost it. She fell into hysterics, laughing so hard, tears brimmed her eyes. She wanted to help them up (again) but this was even funnier than the last time! He had shit on his foot and her wife fell? It was too much for her to handle. She sat on the floor and laughed.
The two were sat on the floor, a frown toying at their lips. Neither of them won. Technically speaking, Evan won a while ago but now he's got horse manure on his foot and clothes, so did he really win? Angel was able to compose herself just enough to get up, get the boy's sneakers and trot over to them. "That. Was. Hil-arious! I️ wish I️ could replay that for hours on end." She wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks and plopped down next to them. "Oh yeah babe, thanks. I'm not hurt or anything." Ryan grumbled. "Ah, shut up. Here I️ got you two churros." The grey eyed girl's mood lightened as she happily munched on her churro. "I️ didn't forget about you, kid. Here," he was hesitant. Was she really offering him some food? "Go on, take it." Reluctantly he took the sweet treat and scarfed it down. That was his first "meal" in days! He was supposed to get more food from the kids in the village if he stayed on that bull for a total of 15 seconds or longer, but now he had no idea where he was or if he was going to get back. "Where should we drop you off? It's getting pretty late, your parents must be worried sick." Ryan spoke, a bit more tenderly than earlier. "I️ can walk." He simply stated.