Not My Canon!

WTF: Ron

Jack Thorne's Ron

We've already covered Ron's many levels of skeevy perversion in this play, but the fact that no one reacts poorly to his rapey gifts and vulgar comments goes a long way toward defining this as normal behavior. Oh, there Uncle Ron goes again...giving our son a magic roofie. Haha, no harm done when you encourage young boys to consider using date rape drugs to get what they want, right?

Like, we already know that Tom Riddle Sr. was raped through the use of Amortentia and that love potions are banned at Hogwarts (it's canon, and whatever), but it felt different when it was only kids using love potions. Or the Weasley twins selling them. But coming from an Uncle... Eh...

The writers increase this feeling of an oversexualized Ron by having him objectify women. In the Dark Universe, when Scorpius brings up that Ron is married, he says "I expect their mother is hot." What? Why is Ron this? WHY??!! He never showed even a hint of this behavior in the books. And "hot"? C'mon.

But, I guess that's just him.

HARRY: I think it's a joke about - I don't know what. Lily got farting gnomes, James got a comb that's made his hair turn a shade of pink. Ron - well, Ron's Ron, you know?

Mmm. No, Harry. He isn't.

Ron is unrecognizable in this play. He hardly has any lines. And when he does, the characterization is so off that it feels like we're watching a parody. Gone is the wit. Gone is the talent. They turned Ron into the bumbling sidekick who pops in to get the audience to laugh. He's not an Auror, as we were led to believe. Nope, he runs the jokeshop with his brother now! Which brother? Well, we won't say which brother, because George isn't mentioned at all!!

GINNY: You talk a lot of rubbish.

RON: I consider it my specialty. That and my range of Skiving Snackboxes.

Oh, he has a range of Skiving Snackboxes, does he? Just stop. Ron is neither Fred or George. Stop pretending that he is! Stop making him comic relief and nothing more.

But this is who he is, apparently. Because under Polyjuice, Albus convinced Hermione that he was Ron by acting like a total buffoon. Didn't raise an eyebrow, because Ron is aloof and selfish now. Like when questions were being raised about who was responsible for the mishandling of the Time-Turner, he was quick to cover his own tail while attempting to appear brave.

RON: Just to say - I didn't know about much of it so can't take responsibility - and I'm pretty sure my kids had nothing to do with it - but if this lot are standing up here then so am I.

Not Our Ron

Anything Ron had to say during Cursed Child was either stupid or unnecessary. An example of this is when they heard what happened in the alternate universe where Voldemort lived.

RON: So you're telling me that the whole of history rests on...Neville Longbottom? This is pretty wild.

Yeah, Ron. The very close childhood friend of yours that had been killed by Cedric Diggory. That deceased member of Dumbledore's Army about whom you would still be heartbroken. You ass.

Another example is when they are figuring out which one of them was going to be transfigured into Voldemort.

RON: Then I would like to - I think I should be him. I mean, it won't be - exactly nice being Voldemort - but without wishing to blow my own trumpet - I am probably the most chilled out of all of us and...so maybe transfiguring into him - into the Dark Lord - will do less damage to me than - any of you more - intense - people.