Love in a Shanghai Summer

8: Lose Face (丢脸)

Sighing, Yiwen slowly made her way back to the living and accepted the call.

"Why are you being so difficult, you terrible child," her mother said.

There was a reason for that, but she found it hard to string a coherent thought.

"You've always been a good girl. Growing up, you never gave your father and I any problems so why are you acting out now? Is this some sort of delayed rebellion?"

"Gawd gurl," she slurred. "Lookie where that got mey."

There was a slight pause on the other end. "Are you drunk?"

Yiwen giggled. "No-oh, of curzaam not. Em a good girl."

"How can you be drinking at this time, you silly child! Shouldn't you be trying to make it up with Wu Chen?"

"Wu Chen, Wu Chen," she shouted. "Daz cheating ashhole! I duna wanna see him again."

"You're already thirty, but you're still acting like a child. Men cheat. It happens. But if you're wise, you'll not let one small mistake like that ruin your future. Talk it out with him and bring him back. You've been together ten years. How can you just throw it all away?"

Yiwen slammed the can of beer she was holding against the floor. Liquid fizzled and splashed all over her soft carpet. "H-he threw what we had away, not me! Wh-why should I l-lower my myself and beg 'im to take me back when hiz at fault?"

"Listen to yourself! You're drunk and incomprehensible. Is this how you deal with your problems?"

"I'm drunk coz I'm miserable. Can't be I sad for once? Sh-should I continue to act like everything's all right when it feels like my whole world is falling apart?"

"Stop being so dramatic. If the world ended every time someone got cheated on, humanity would have stopped existing long ago. Instead of wasting time feeling sorry for yourself, get rid of the mistress and bring Wu Chen back."

"I don't want to."

Her mother sighed. "Yiwen, my dear, you're not getting any younger. I told you to get married as soon as possible, but you didn't listen. Now, look what happened? Men always go for younger women."

Yiwen leaned her head back against the couch. Her brain felt like a buoy bobbing in the open sea. And her heart... She rubbed a sticky hand against her chest. Why did it feel like it's being ripped apart again? She'd already tried to put it back together countless times, yet every time she thought she was on the verge of healing, someone came to reopen her wounds. First, it was that encounter with Wu Chen at the restaurant. Then, that confrontation with Lili at the office. And now her mother, too?

"So it's my fault?"

"Wenwen... Mama just wants the best for you. At this age, you need to be more practical. Don't set your standards too high, okay? The older you get, the more your choices become limited. Your father and I are getting older, too. We want to see our only child get settled. We want to see our grandchildren, too, before we die."

"B-but what about my happiness?"

"You were happy with Wu Chen, weren't you? Otherwise, you wouldn't be with him for so long. Your father and I like him. He has a good job and a bright future. Forgive him this once and try to make it work. Okay?"

Yiwen squeezed her eyes shut and felt tears drip down her cheeks.

"All right, then," her mother went on, "stop drinking and go to bed. Everything will be fine tomorrow. Good night, darling."

"Good night," Yiwen whispered.

Once the call ended, Yiwen dropped the phone on the floor and drew her knees against her chest. Was her mother right? Was she being impractical by breaking up with Wu Chen? Was she wrong for thinking cheating was unforgivable? What if she couldn't find someone else? Most people in this country marry in their twenties. Those unmarried in their thirties often have no intention to do so or have been passed over. She didn't want to be either, but she also didn't want to settle. Yiwen lifted her head, grabbed a sheet of tissue from the coffee table, and blew out her nose.