Blue ━ Hermione Granger

| TWENTYFIVE: REDEMPTION CALLS

         Cevira blinked, coming down from her high, bringing her hand to her mouth to cover up the large smile as her eyes, for a moment, drifted to Amandla, almost unconsciously. Almost as if she could feel the heated gaze that the Fitzgerald girl was giving her. And the smile faded as she just looked at her for a moment, and Amandla felt almost dread because she was so happy before the girl had seen her. And she couldn't blink, couldn't miss a second because Cevira was looking at her and she couldn't turn away.

         But it was only for a moment, because Caesar had laid his arm on hers and looked at Cevira, talking to her, and she turned away. It was so quickly, which hurt, no lingering moment between them, almost as if she wanted to turn away from Amandla as quick as she could. She let out a shaky breath at that, looking down at her food and hating herself even more then. She was disgusting to look at, she was miserable. She hated life – she hated everything. Fuck, she wanted it to end.

         But it didn't. Nothing ever ended because she was still there and she was still drowning, and fuck, nothing was ever going to end. Nothing was ever going to end. She was going to continue living and drowning and trying to save everyone else she loved who was drowning as well. Corey wasn't drowning – not anymore. He wasn't drowning, he was thriving, and he was getting better, he was mending everything he had broken. And Draco wouldn't drown, she wouldn't let him drown, even if that meant she had to. She would drown again and again for him and for everyone else.

         Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

         Her eyes went up again, looking past the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables to the Slytherin table, landing on her beloved cousin who sported bags under his eyes from the exhaustion that had worn on him from everything. He was reading something, a letter, and dread was apparent on his face. Then he stood up and almost – almost – stormed out of the hall.

         She didn't waste a second going after him. She tried to appear calm, keeping her eyes on Draco's retreating figure until she was out of the hall and he was in the closest bathroom, which she followed him into after making sure that no one was looking. His breaths were shallow, still holding that damn letter, and he looked like the shell of the boy he used to be. The boy he was last year.

         "Draco...are you alright?" she called after him, letting out that stupid fucking question.

         "I'm dead. I'm dead! I'm fucking dead if I don't...I should be done already but I'm not and now..." he looked down from the mirror, trying not to cry.

         Her lips parted as sadness pooled into her eyes and she looked down at the letter. Hesitantly, she moved forward to Draco and to the letter, reaching out for it as he let it go so easily and she took it in her own hands, eyes skidding over every word until she looked back up at him, "Oh, Draco..."

         "If I could've just killed him already maybe they would be quieter. If I hadn't failed..."

         "It's better that the locket failed! You almost killed that girl!" Amandla tried to sway him.

         He only shook his head, "Not just that...someone else almost died because of me, Amandla. I'm practically already a killer."

         Sweet dread pooled in her stomach as she heard that; someone else. It didn't have to mean anything, she told herself. It didn't have to mean shit because she could've missed someone that day...maybe it was Hagrid or Harry...or her. Those words didn't have to mean anything. But it did. Even if didn't have to, it did. It meant something because it could mean everything and everything meant there was another attempt and she didn't want it to mean that.