Dear Grace,
I never thought I would write something like this. My therapist says it will help me get over losing you, but I really doubt that. I still remember my last words to you. 'See you tomorrow' I have said those words so many times and I never thought they would be my last to you. I thought they would be deep and meaningful when we were ninety years old and were surrounded by grandkids. But no.
In some ways I hate you. I hate you for not letting me help you. I hate you for leaving alone. I hate you for not even telling why. I hate you but can't blame you. I tried and failed, I do not wish I had not failed but I understand why you did it. You stopped me, I just wish I could have returned the favour.
Your funeral is in a few days. I ensured it was how you planned it to be. Your mother wanted it to be religious and full of bullshit but I forced her to do it your way. MCR all the way, no religious bullshit, no flowers.
I started spiralling again. It's getting harder to remain clean each day. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo to remember you by, 'Grace' on my ankle.
When I was told I didn't stop crying for hours. I haven't cried that much since you made me read 'Empire of Storms'. I guess you never got to keep my promise to me, that you would buy me Throne of Glass 6.
Everyone is walking on eggshells around me. I can hear them, even when they think I can't. 'Unstable', 'broken', 'weirdo'.
God, this is so cliche.
Lizzy said her first word, you never even got to see your sister's first word. The ironic thing is you told me that you thought if you vanished, Lizzy wouldn't even notice. Her first word was 'Grace'.
YOU ARE READING
Therapy Letters - Words that Heal
Non-FictionA book filled of anonymous letters that express the pain, joy, and words left unspoken. If you ever wanted to express yourself, confront your bully, or finish unfinished business, you can. Expressive writing helps many heal and you can submit your...
