A Priest's Deadly Obsession

Chapter 13 - The Chapels Office

Warning : Explicit content found in this chapter that may offend some readers. Mature readers only please! 

James scrubbed and scrubbed harshly at his skin using a thick coarse brush, the bristles of it felt as though they were cutting his skin. But he didn't mind it, he continued and applied even more pressure against his knees, his thighs then upwards and scratched his throat with it.

"Damn.." he muttered softly when he felt the bristles pierce through his skin, a small droplet of blood poked out. The freezing cold water of the shower washed it down the drain, until finally his cold fingers shut them off.

He still felt utter disgust with himself, he still self harmed in small ways (so the clergy and his roommate wouldn't notice the bruises) because of the guilt; like black tar was slowly engulfing around his heart.

It was 4am and he couldn't sleep, the nightmares wouldn't let him, he had morning mass today and figured he would get there extra early and make himself useful before the members would fill up his beloved church.

Elizabeth would be there today, and as much as he hated himself, as much as he hated her for causing him this grief and turmoil he was determined to have her.

The diseased priest walked to the church in the dark cold morning, he wore no hat, scarf or gloves to protect himself from the winter weather but just a bare small thin jacket against the harsh December winds. His black shoes sank into the soft snow that had fallen during the earlier hours, the chilliness constricted against his skin but he welcomed the pain of it, the way the wind stabbed his cheeks.

He smiled to himself as he opened up the church and smelled the sweet burned out incense from the night prior.

************

Elizabeth sat next to her uncle for the service, avoiding the eyes of the young priest in the alter. She was afraid their eyes would meet, that he would smile at her and that everyone would know about what had happened and ultimately blame her. But to her surprised, James ignored her gaze through the mass, even as she went up and took the wafer from him, his eyes were darkened and seemed lifeless as if he was staring out into nothing and no one in particular.

After the service had ended James quickly retreated into the office on the side of the alter, his hand pounded the desk in the room.

It hurts....but he was not referring to his fist. The other hand clutched his chest. 
How could it be possible that the mere sight of her pained him so deeply? 

"Will I get to see you tomorrow?" Elizabeth asked Zach in the parking lot, the young boy brushed his hand alongside her arms in an attempt to provide her some heat from the cold.

He nodded at her with a smile, "Of course! It's Christmas so I have to see you...." he leaned by her ear and whispered, " I want more of that kiss.."

His soft sweet voice soothed her, her eyes shut as she re-imagined their small kiss in the theater a few days ago. Zach felt her arms wrap around his torso, hugging him.

His sister, Juliet watched them from the car, her lips narrowed into a straight line, she was envious that her brother had what she wanted, but she tried to bottle as much as possible.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Zach looked lovingly into the green eyes he had fallen for.

"Okay," she smiled and they parted ways, Zach approached his sister still unable to wipe away his bright happy face which irritated Juliet. She rolled her eyes for a moment before stumbling upon James who stood on the front steps looking down below at everyone.