Crash Into Me

Not Today

I apologize for taking so long to update. Truth is I suffer from anxiety and depression which has gotten worse lately. I haven't had the energy or motivation to do much. I am doing better now and writing has really helped keep my mind off of things. I can't promise how quick updates will be but I will not be giving up on my stories.

Song is Not Today by Alessia Cara

"Trauma creates change you don't choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose."

~Michelle Rosenthal

Someday I won't be afraid of my head

Someday I will not be chained to my bed

Someday I'll forgot the day he left

But surely not today

One day I wont a PHD

To sit me down and tell me what it all means

Maybe one day it'll be a breeze

But surely not today

But surely not today

Oh you don't know what sadness means

Till you're too sad fall asleep

One day ill be snoozing peacefully

But surely not today

Surely not today

The following day Savannah entered the hospital with a genuine smile. The first genuine smile she had in months. She knew it would take time to get over everything with Logan. Truthfully she didn't know if it was something she could ever get over. But she wanted to try.

She pulled up to the building her GPS had told her. It was a small building, nothing special about it from the outside.

Stepping inside she noted there were about ten women all gathered in a circle.

A woman, she figured was in her mid fifties walked up and greeted her. "Hi I'm Ashley Moore, you must be Savannah."

A small smile graced her face, "Savannah Young," she held out her hand politely for the older woman to shake.

"Welcome Savannah. Take a seat we were just about to start."

Savannah down. Minutes later the meeting began.

"Everyone meet our newest member Savannah," Ashley introduced, "Savannah why don't you tell us a little about yourself."

"Hi I'm Savannah," she began, "I am a trauma surgeon at Seattle Grace. I moved to Seattle a couple of months ago to get away from my ex," she paused, all the memories and emotions flooding back, "We started out really good. We were happy. I can't remember when things took a turn. It started out with verbal abuse. He'd call me names. Bitch. Slut. Tell me I'm stupid. Then one night I got mad at him. He uh came home late drunk. I started yelling...and then he hit me," the tears were now flowing, "He said he was sorry. That he wouldn't do it again. And I stupidly believed him. But he did. Again and again. After some years I just couldn't take it anymore, I found a job opening at Seattle Grace and took it. He came back one night and I had left."

It was if a weight had been lifted of Savannah's shoulders baring her soul and telling her story to other woman who knew what she was going through. For a long time, it felt like she had been alone; Logan had alienated all her friends; she had no family left. She was all alone. Or so she thought.