Crash & Burn

Chapter Five

I sighed long and hard, finding it bizarre that Mom was guilting me into going to a party. Normally, it would have been the other way around.

"I won't be good company," I said, looking down at my knees.

"Go, see how you feel once you're there," Mom said. "You deserve a night of fun."

"So do you," I told her, not remembering the last time I'd seen her do something just for fun. The past few years, for her, had been all about us kids, work, and survival.

"That's kind of you to say, Zoe," Mom said, blonde waves falling into her face as she concentrated on the clothes in front of her.

"It's true," I insisted. When Mom didn't say anything, I continued, "You know that, right, Mom? You're doing a great job."

"I just feel like David would have known what he was doing, if he was here," Mom admitted quietly. "He would know how to fix things, and he wouldn't have made such a mess of it all like I've been doing."

"I know you miss David, Mom, I do too." I cleared my throat. "But this isn't your fault. You've done the best you can... with how little we have." That pretty much summed it all up.

"It doesn't feel like enough. I feel like a failure. I've let you kids, and him, down. Look at where we are. He wanted better for you kids." She gestured around the apartment, looking hopeless.

"Don't say that, Mom. Things won't stay this way forever. " I hugged her, wishing for the right words to say. "David would be so proud over how strong you've been. How you've taken care of everything alone."

"If the home insurance payout doesn't come through... this is it. It'll take a lifetime, if ever, to work us back up to where we were."

"Why... why wouldn't it come through?" I said, fear lacing up my spine.

"Oh, Zoe." Mom slumped, looking like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. "Our fire alarms didn't go off that night. They should have. They would have woken us sooner, and we would have been able to call the police earlier. Part of our cover policy stipulated that we had to have working fire alarms at all times."

With all the chaos of that night, I hadn't even thought about our alarms not going off.

"So what does that mean?" I asked, dread tightening my throat.

"I don't know." Mom shrugged, helplessly. "It all depends on that fire report. We just have to wait and see. And we need to be prepared... just in case we get nothing."

We sat in silence for a moment, the horror of it too much to fathom.

There was a knock on the door, making me blink.

"That'll be Bella," Mom said, getting up. "Will you answer? I should go and check on the twins, get them out of the bath."

I got up sluggishly, feeling like I was a hundred years old as I opened the door. Bella stood there, all decked out in black, her smoky eyes lighting up as they landed on me.

"I found the perfect outfit for you," she squealed, pushing past me.

"I thought you were bringing options?" I asked, it taking me a moment to switch gears. Clothes. The party. Right.

"I was, but then I found this number at the back of my closet, and just knew it would look amazing on you," she said, confidently. "Trust me."

She was right.

The white lace top was gorgeous, and paired with a pair of jean shorts that probably made my legs look miles long, I felt great. Sexy. Though I had only been able to glance at my top half in the small bathroom mirror.