The Birds

Chapter 11: Romance

"Romance doesn't exists
It's a hoax to trick your mind into thinking perfection exists"

i sat in my room doodling random stuff into a journal with my one good arm. i haven't been to school in a week because my arm hasn't healed enough i had already skipped about 3 days unexcused so who knew how bad i was failing. It was now friday and this whole week i had not seen chris at all. 

Grandma was still being held in the hospital and nia was at school so i was currently all alone in my home. 

i was supposed to start working a while ago but that wasn't possible because of my broken arm and a sprained ankle. 

I hoped all the food nia bought did not run out anytime soon. 

i wish things didn't have to be this way

i wish me and nia had all the money in the world 

i wish nia had no worries, none at all 

she didn't deserve it.

and with all these wishes i wish i had something to numb the want in my chest.

Ever since i had first snorted christopher's cocaine and smoked his weed i had been craving it, but i had no idea how to get stuff like that, chris was my only source. 

Not only was i missing him but what he had to offer as well.

God what was i becoming. i had no idea but I didn't have enough space in my brain to figure it out because chris was taking up 95% percent of it. 

no one has ever cared about me like chris has or took time to acknowledge me. The only time someone payed a bit of attention to me was when they wanted to point out how homeless, and gross they thought i looked.

When i was little people used to always pick on me and as anyone can see not much has changed. But ever since chris came around things have been different. And that's what i think i like most about him how different and new he makes me feel. 

No one's ever made me feel anything but pain but not him. 

He was perfect. 

But now he was acting cold and mean but i refuse to let him slip away from me not like everyone else. 

i looked at my arm in the cast remembering how it had happened. i brought that on myself trying to get chris attention by participating in a dangerous activity was the dumbest thing i could've done. He was probably angrier than he was before.

i looked at the old clock my mom used to own to see it was around 2:30 ish so nia should be home any minute.

 i waited til she got home just doodling in my journal some more wiping the sweat from my forehead.

i hadn't talked to nia much at all or anyone for that matter ever since the incident with my arm i have felt numb. why did i have to be so reckless. 

Minutes later i heard a knock on the door. I stood with my bare feet hitting the rough carpets quickly making my way to the door. 

I opened the door expecting to see nia but shocked to see chris standing behind the door after all this time. 

i stood staring at him waiting for him to say something so i could decide whether or not i wanted to be happy to see him or not. Even though no matter what he said i would still be happy to see him. 

"come in... i guess" i said moving out the way for him to walk in. 

We walked to the center of the living room and just stared at each other.