(On Hold) Didn't see that coming

Chapter 1~Meeting

It was a day like any other. I woke up in a cold empty room again. Alone. I would never get used to this feeling. Feeling of freedom, but also the feeling of loneliness.

*Yawn*

Still sleepy I looked at my clock on the right side of my bed to see what time is it. 5:37AM. I tried going to sleep again but I wasn't tired anymore. After some time of snuggling in a warm bed, I decided to get out of that comfort to slowly pack my things for college. I staggered my way to the bathroom to take a quick shower and do all the normal things any normal human would do in the morning. After a hot shower, I stood in front of my mirror to wash my teeth. In a mirror, I saw a pair of brown eyes, without light in them. I have a short blond hair and a normal body.

My name is Lucy Heartfelia and I am 20 years old. I'm in the second year of college, studying psychology at Fairy Tail University. The Uni is really great and professors are awesome, more or less. People are kind of nice but I don't like to hang around anyone in particular. Maybe Levy, she is the only one I'm good with.

The thing about me is that I kind of have a neutral feeling for everything. My family is a little broken so I never got time to show my emotions. I live, well I lived, with my 2 years older brother Sting, father Jude and mother Lalya.

My father has a big turistic company and my mother is an actress and a professor on a Drama Academy. They are kind of famous but nothing big.

My brother was always a problematic child. Not in a way that he was bad kid, but in a way that he was always bullied for being "weird". He is not weird, he just like to fantasize about other realities, he likes to play games and read fantasy books.

When he gets home our father would teach him about business so he can take over the company. Our mother also put a pressure on him because she expected him to do perfect in anything. However, because of the bulling and the pressure he started to feel depressed and couldn't live up to their standards. He started to ditch classes, he had panic attacks and sleep paralyses. My parents became really worried and send him to all kinds of institutions for help. Now he is getting treatment for depression.

I was always "the good girl" - good grades, good maners and good with everyone. But that's what my parents thought I was. In reality, I would beat my brothers bullies everytime I saw them making fun of him. I stood up for the people who got bullied.
But, on the inside I was dying to be noticed. My parents didn't really talk to me or were interested in me because I wasn't the problem, and I didn't need their help.

But I did.

In the inside, I was dying for them to notice me, ask me how was my day and do I have someone I like, or if I need help with anything.
I was doing everything on my own.

How can I ask them for attention when my brother is the one suffering?

And with time, it became my habbit: to ignore what I'm feeling and not knowing what should I feel in some situations. But I don't mind. Nothing can hurt me this way.

I don't have anything I really like to do, I don't have the passion for anything particular. Everything I start, I get bored really quickly and give up on it. The only two things I didn't stop doing, and I hope I won't, ever, are reading and writing. I love it how books can take you to the other worlds and make you experience a different life. I always wanted to be someone else.

Also, writing. Whenever I would feel a little down or feel something I don't understand, I would write it down. It helped me to understand myself better and it gave me the feeling I officially got it out of my head. If something bothered me I would write it down, try to understand it and solved it. In my mind, I would check it "✅solved" and that way I stop thinking about it.