Problematic (Oh Sehun fic)

XII- Oopsie

I furrowed my brows, looking over at Junmyeon as I stood up straight. "Yah, why do you read the news?" I tossed the paper onto the table in front of him, frowning. "It's depressing. No wonder you're such a grandpa."

My cousin sassily flipped the newspaper open, murmuring something about being, "Unbothered," as Tao and Michael simultaneously got up, their chairs scraping against the floor in haste.

"Will you teach me how to dunk?" Michael's excited screech echoed against the walls as they disappeared out the door, the sound of a basketball covering Tao's proud response.

I shoved my mug full of life substance- sorry, coffee into the microwave and yawned.

A wind pushed my hair off of my cheeks as Suho walked past me, thwacking my side with the newspaper playfully on his way to the sink. "I read the news because in order to be a part of the world, you should know what's going on in it." I blinked at him as he turned back to me with a sage smile. "and one thing I know that's going on is you being late to work if you don't get your lazy ass ready right about now."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "If you don't quit hitting me with the newspaper, I'm telling my dad to move the daily paper somewhere you won't find it."

"Thaaaat's it!"

With a whap, the newspaper crashed onto the counter, and my cousin started hopping in a kangaroo way that I immediately recognized.

"No," I groaned tiredly as he approached me, putting his fists up and circling me like a predator as I closed the fridge, peppermint mocha creamer in hand.

"One on one," He challenged. His brunette hair flapped against his forehead, his viper eyes narrowed at my sloth ones. "Just like old times."

I only yawned, watching my coffee get lighter as I stirred the sugary cream in. "You mean the times when you were more than just three inches taller than me and still got your ass kicked?"

-

"Jesus fucking christ," I groaned into my phone's speakers, rubbing the stinging wound on my neck with my free hand. "I should report you to child services for abuse."

Shuffling was heard on the other line before my cousin laughed at me,"I won fair and square, no abuse involved."

I started to peddle faster on my bike, which- I hated to admit- was the smoothest running bike I'd ever owned (sorry Sammy).

"Fine," I grudged, tapping my fingers impatiently against the smooth, silvery handle bars. "One time. Don't act big, because you're not. Literally."

He chortled proudly, "Every time ever. And I'm taller than you, little shit. Ah!" I heard more rustling. "Found your bag, it was on the counter."

In my rush to escape my short ninja cousin, I'd left my workbag. The fight had been short and ugly, my cousin holding the upper hand (the upper hand being the thick ass newspaper).

Suho? I only know my deranged dwarf cousin, Suhateful.

"Awesome," I breathed. "Would you mind running it by in an hour or so? My charger's in it and ya girl's runnin low."

"Yeah, yeah. Try not to forget it next time."

"Love you, cousin," I sang before the click of him hanging up rang in response.