𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [ 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 ] ✘

New Rules (I Count 'Em)

I got new rules, I count 'em

I had to get some new rules - quit going back to him so much. Going back to him at all, I corrected myself.

I gotta tell them to myself

Why could I get it through my head that I didn't need him?! I ran a hand over the ginger strands of hair that had fallen out of my bun in frustration.

I got new rules, I count 'em

Finally, I made it back the house I shared with my dad and Rosita and sighing, I stumbled into my room before flopping down on my bed.

I gotta tell them to myself

And just as I drifted off to sleep, I kept that mantra in my head - I have to get new rules.

I keep pushin' forwards, but he keeps pullin' me backwards

Over the next few weeks, I tried to push him away but he just kept pulling me back in.

(Nowhere to turn) no way

He was like a drug that I couldn't quit.

(Nowhere to turn) no

Like my own personal stash I couldn't get enough of - he was intoxicating to me.

Now I'm standing back from it, I finally see the pattern

And now that I'd taken a step back from him, I realized something I never had before...

(I never learn, I never learn)

He does this to all the girls. He pretends to love them just to play them.

But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself

But I was still in love with him and couldn't fathom why.

I tell myself

He was my bad habit and oh, how I needed to break it.

I do, I do, I do

I let out an internal scream as I made my way up to the house Deanna was having a party at.

One, don't pick up the phone

But when I stepped foot inside, my eyes were instantly drawn to Carl.

You know he's only calling 'cause he's drunk and alone

He began to make his way over to me but I rolled my eyes, heading the other way. He was just drunk again.

Two, don't let him in

I let the door slam shut behind me as I stepped outside, hoping to deter him.

You'll have to kick him out again

It didn't of course and before I knew it, Carl was standing right behind me.

Three, don't be his friend

"Where are you going?" he asked me softly, his voice like velvet.

You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning

I did the worst thing possible then - I met his blue-eyed gaze.

And if you're under him, you ain't getting over him

It was then I knew I would never get over him. Suddenly, his lips were on mine and I was being pushed up against the wall.

I got new rules, I count 'em

His mouth was warm, inviting and I melted into the taste of his kiss. Hands roamed down to my hips and I clasped my hands to his neck, pulling him closer.

I got new rules, I count 'em

His brown Sheriff's hat brushed against my forehead as the cool night air blew around us. But all I could feel were the softness of his plump, pink lips.

I gotta tell them to myself

My head was screaming at me to push him away, not to fall under his spell again. But I couldn't pull myself away.

I got new rules, I count 'em

Suddenly, I couldn't care less about my own stupid rules - I needed this boy like I needed air to breathe. What am I saying? He was my air!

I gotta tell them to myself

And no one had to like it. Whatever Carl and I's relationship was or wasn't or could be - it was our choice, it was up to us to decide. I didn't need anyone to tell me what to do because I already knew how much I loved this boy. And I couldn't get over him.