OCD ➳ Larry Stylinson

Chapter Twenty One: Again

You have to

Louis's lips lingered on mine for an extended period of time before we finally pulled apart, my OCD being pleased with kissing him only three times. I walked to the door slowly, looking back at Louis for a second before exiting the room.

4 different times.

The hallways were vacant, silence filling Louis's large household. For someone with so many siblings, Louis's house got quite quickly. I felt almost like bugler, tiptoeing through his house, although I had no intention of stealing his things. By the time it was 10:15, I was already in my car, which was satisfying. I didn't know why I was recently so obsessed with the timings of things, but I was, and I couldn't stop.

I slipped into my house easily, knowing my mother wasn't home, thankfully. I trotted up the stairs, skipping the top step of course. My brain was relaxed, and I didn't feel the need to cut or to cry or anything, all I wanted to do was think about Louis. I wanted to be with Louis, but my mother was going to be home soon--maybe, and the bruises on my face were still healing, so there was no need to add anymore to the collection. I plopped on my bed, pulling up my laptop and opening it.

3 times.

I logged onto Facebook, because it was a fair way to pass time on a Sunday night, I guess. I scrolled down for a few minutes before receiving a message, which was both shocking and unsettling.

I opened it up, interested in what they person had to say to me.

'whats wrong with you? I see you in the halls sometimes and your'e really weird. Do you have ocd? Someone said you did. And are you a fag? Someone said that too. You hang out with that gay kid all the time'

I paused while reading the message. Gay kid? Louis? But Louis wasn't out yet.... At least not out to the whole school.

'are you two dating? Bc that's really gross. Like seriously tho if you are pls stay away from me and my friends, especially if u have ocd. that would make you a fag AND a freak. Lol bye'

I had to avert my eyes from the screen. The message was from Cloe Crawford, a girl I've seen before but never directly talked to. She was basically a bitch, and everyone knew it. I didn't want what she said to affect me, but it did. It really did.

It seriously did. I felt ill.

I began to type before I could actually think.

'Are you really that thick? Who cares if I'm gay or that I have OCD it's none of your business. Pease leave me alone'

I didn't reread it or even think about what I said before I sent it, and I instantly knew it was a mistake. She replied in a couple of seconds, not even giving me time to flinch.

'so your'e admitting that youre' a fag and a freak? Okay'

I swallowed. Hard. I didn't know what to say or do, because defending myself would be lying and I didn't like lying, because people that lie end up dead. But everyone ends up dead. I sit there for a few minutes, and my newsfeed goes crazy, making that little noise every other second. I didn't click to see what was happening, because I was too engrossed in the fact that I basically just came out as gay.

I wasn't even sure if I was gay, I just liked Louis. Only Louis.

I finally clicked on the little globe, and I instantly regretted it. Cloe had screenshoted our messages, and everyone could see it. Everyone could see what I said to her.