The Diary of an Introvert

Entry 24. PART 2

A week later...

Diary entry: Sunday, October 8th, 2017.

I'm having that sinister feeling again...The feeling of being watched, being followed. In the end, I didn't go to meet the stalker who sent me the letter. I just couldn't. I was too afraid.

I didn't tell Jellal about him but I guess it's time I do. For a few days I didn't feel any sort of danger around me but for the last couple of days, I'm sensing something that I haven't sensed for a long time.

Fear has paralyzed my body.

Every time I go somewhere, I can hear footsteps behind me but when I turn around, that someone is gone. At first, I thought it was my imagination but now, I'm certain that someone is after me. I don't know why or what he or she wants but I can't leave my house without fearing the worst.

But, the thing I have noticed is that whenever I'm with Jellal...I feel unthreatened. The scary footsteps disappear, the eyes that follow me vanish and my heart is at ease.

When I'm with Jellal, I lower my guard so easily. It's like my own self knows that I have someone who can protect me from any crisis.

And with Jellal's sister getting better, he's spending more time with me. I know he knows something but he isn't asking me. I think he's waiting for me to say it myself but whenever he's there, I can't talk about my insecurities. I'm just too eager to know more about him, it's turned into an obsession of mine.

I feel like I've turned selfish because whenever Jellal says he has to go and see how his sister is doing, my heart doesn't want him to leave my side. I get jealous for an unknown reason and I also get angry...I know its not right but I can't help it. I'm turning insane for him and I'm afraid that one day he will point out my flaw.

But, the good news is, Jellal's sister is going to be discharged soon from the hospital.

The way his eyes brightened when he told me that...I still remember it. It shone like a diamond under the sun.

The tiredness from his face had vanished completely and for the first time in a few weeks, he let out a sigh of relief. A sigh that I felt relieved to hear myself.

In that happy occasion, Jellal took me to a park for a breather. He wanted to see around him clearly and to refresh his exhausted mind.

We walked in the park, hand in hand, slowly as if we had control over time.

The wind was getting chiller and the trees rustled to the sound of our beating hearts.

Jellal's touch always warms me up, that I have come to perceive.

I wonder what his thoughts are on me...I wonder if I asked him how much he loves me, what answer would he give me?

There were so many things I wondered at the time we were walking that I didn't realize we had reached the park until Jellal playfully kissed my cheek to bring me back to earth.

His chuckle made me chuckle and I felt this day to be the best day for him and for me.

We sat on the moist grass and gazed at the lake across. Ducks were swimming with their ducklings in circles. It was amusing to watch them.

The way they quacked everytime a duckling would go afar from its mother was what the scene ever more interesting to watch.

Now that I think about it, we didn't actually talk much. We occasionally glanced at each other and then back at the lake. Although, we had our fingers intertwined and our knees were as close as it could get.

The sun was setting and it was time for us to get back home. However, I couldn't just leave this beautiful day unquoted.

It was I, who grabbed Jellal's sleeve before he could turn around and leave.

My heart pumped so rapidly that I felt it sting in my chest.

He looked at me casually as if it was totally normal for a girl's heart to scream loudly.

"T-thank you for staying by my side, Jellal..." I said, my eyes were gazing down at the grass we had sat on. My heels were unconsciously digging into the soft spot underneath me.

"That's nothing to thank me for." He said, his tone was calm and tender.

"No, I have to. It's only right..."

Jellal wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. His smile was so delicate, I stared at it while he talked to me.

"As your boyfriend, its my duty to be by your side, Erza." His voice was soft like the touch of a feather, or a kitten meowing for its owner.

I blushed and eventually, peeled my eyes off his face.

However, he lowered his face to meet my eyes and touched his forehead to mine. "I have to thank you for being by my side. You gave me hope and strength. You have me patience, Scarlet. Thank you. I don't think I can live without you anymore."

We looked into each others eyes. It was as if each of us was competing to go deeper into the latters.

And then, that moment came when we couldn't sense time. When we couldn't see the world around us but just us. And when our lips touched each others like we had done it a dozen times before.

I wonder why kisses make us happy? I wonder what the magic is in having such warm skinship?

Human body and mind are so difficult to fathom...

We came home soon after. We stood outside my house for a goodbye but none of us were departing. It was like we were attached to one root.

And the moment we left each others hands, it was like plucking a flower from its bed.

Nonetheless, Jellal airily told me to go back inside before I catch a cold.

I nodded even though I didn't want to and headed inside.

Levy was waiting for me in the living room with dinner all ready and set to eat. She asked me how my day went and I told her, "Perfect."

Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention. From tomorrow, our exams are starting which means less hanging out with Jellal and more concentration on getting good marks.

I can't presume how I will handle the distance between us but I hope the exams end soon.

I want to spend my winter vacation with Jellal...

Just the two of us. If that's possible.