Bad At Love | Halsey

Worth It

It's been a week since I forced her out. A week without her. I feel empty and lost without her, but I just can't do this anymore. She's never actually going to leave him. She's just going to go back to him no matter what.

I guess some people just need somebody to love and somebody to love them. But sometimes, even when they have both, it's not enough.

She thinks she loves him, but she doesn't. Not really. She thinks he loves her, but he doesn't, either. I can't understand. I actually loved her. I still do. I can't deny it.

"Are you okay?" Mani asks me, looking at my face.

"Oh shit. I'm sorry. My mind wandered again," I tell her, feeling my face flush.

"We don't have to do this," she replies, holding her flannel closed with a hand as she moves off me.

"I'm fine," I tell her quickly. "Please."

"I don't think you're okay," she responds. For someone I met just a day ago, she seems to get me. She also knows I'm trying to distract myself by being with her. It's not fair to her, but she doesn't seem to mind.

"I'm really sorry, Mani," I sigh, crossing my arms over my bare chest.

"We can just talk," she suggests, handing me a blanket. I pull it over myself as she moves to lean into my side. I put an arm around her.

"You're too good to me," I say as she puts her arms around my waist.

"The sex is good. What can I say?" she jokes, making me chuckle. It is good. But not as good as with Ash. I like her. She's hot, that's for sure. But there's just no spark.

"Yeah," I reply, meeting her eyes. I brush her dark hair behind her ear, and she looks up at me.

"You're so not over her."

"I'm not," I admit, and she sighs.

"You need to talk to her."

"I told you what she did to me."

"Don't you think this is really when she needs you the most? She's lost," she says softly.

"I tried to help her—"

"Isn't she worth it?" she asks, meeting my eyes.

I think about the memories we shared. I think of the feeling of her skin against mine. The sounds she makes. The way she smiles and laughs.

"She's worth it," I whisper, barely audibly, and Mani lets out a breath.

"Of course she is."

"Why are you so good to me? I don't deserve the company of someone like you."

"Fuck it. I just needed a quick fuck, like you. We're using each other," she replies simply, as if she just suggested we go out to lunch.

"And that's fine with you?" I question, and she chuckles.

"Obviously."

"Plus, as pretty as you are, you won't really have any trouble finding someone better than me," I joke, making her roll her eyes.

"I don't know about that," she says, bopping my nose and making me laugh lightly. "You're something else, Lauren."

"How so?"

"There's something...pure about you," she replies. She stares into my eyes. "I really like you, but we're not going to work. Go get your girl," she whispers.

"But—"

"Even without Ash, we wouldn't work. Stop thinking about us and go," she says, and I look away.

She's right.

"Okay," I finally say. I have to get her back. 

A/N

aaaaaaand here I go not updating in forever whoops