12. The kiss

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Denver

I wake up in Xavier's bed and wrapped in his arms. My blood runs cold in panic. Did I? I did. I kissed my best friend. I shift and feel the soreness in my legs. I slept with Xavier. Tears spring to my eyes and my heart beats rapidly.

"Good morning." Xavier says from behind me in a husky voice.

I hold back my tears and turn to face Xavier. He has a large smile on his face but it drops when he sees my face.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing." I lie.

I can't tell him that I regret everything. He loves me. He wanted this and still wanted this. I love Xavier and he is my best friend but I'm not sure if I feel romantically towards him. He is beautiful and sweet but I have no idea what I want.

"Den, I know you. I know your facial expressions. Your upset." Xavier says.

"I'm scared." I admit.

"Of what?" Xavier asks.

"We have crossed a line, Xavier." I say.

Xavier pulls me close to him and kisses my forehead.

"I know that this scares you, Denver. If you want to go slow, we can. Please don't give up. I want this, I want you. I love you, Denver." Xavier says.

My heart clenches and I hug Xavier closely. What have I gotten myself into? Maybe this is what I need. To forget all about Ren and focus on Xavier.

"I'm not giving up." I say.

Xavier pushes his lips to mine and it's an unusual feeling. It's odd at first, what you would expect from kissing your best friend. After a few moment I kiss Xavier back. My body heats up and I get into the kiss.

"I love you Denver." Xavier says against my lips.

I freeze. What do I say? I love him but I'm not sure if I love him in the way he wants me to.

"You don't have to say it back just yet." Xavier says with a laugh.

I sigh in relief and get dressed. After one more kiss, I sneak out of Xavier's house and into my car. I drive home in silence and get lost in thought. When I arrive home, the only person up is Paige.

"Where have you been?" Paige asks.

"No where." I answer.

"Yeah, sure." Paige says with a smirk.

I make my way up to my room and get clothes for a shower. I take my shower and brush my teeth. When I'm done, I'm absolutely exhausted. I lay down in my bed and fall asleep.

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