Cloverfield

18: Hold it in

Emily was snapped out of her thoughts when the door opened. Ali was wearing casual, but comfy clothes. She looked cute. It wasn't usual for Emmy to see her that way: Ali always wore fancy dresses and the right amount of makeup every day to school. And every day Emily thinks she looks great, but there was something intriguing about her current state.

Fuck. This is going to be hard, isn't it? You're already making a big deal out of her look and you haven't even talked about her makeup-less face!

"Hey, Em," Alison greeted. "Don't just stand there, come in."

Emily blinked and her feet just followed Ali to her room. "Hi..." she said in a small voice. When they were inside, Ali started talking to her like it was any other day. And it was. But at the same time, it wasn't. Well, at least these conversations had calmed some of her nerves down.

Before midnight, Ali and Em tugged themselves in bed. They'd had just said goodnight to Ali's parents, who were staying up late working--her mom on the living room and her dad on the office, as if they'd rather spend time apart. Ali had excused that Emily was really sleepy, but truth was Emmy never said that she was.

Alison turned off her lamp and then grabbed her flashlight, flashing it twice at the window. Goodnight, Spencer. Ali received two flashes back. She turned to Emily after leaving the flashlight back on the bedside table.

A moment passed, Emmy couldn't stop thinking about how blue Ali's eyes looked thanks to the moonlight and how close their bodies were...

"Get up." Ali said suddenly, standing up and putting on Emily's Sharks jacket.

"W-what?"

Ali slid a big bag over her shoulder. She always wore them like that. "I have somewhere for us to go."

"Where?"

"It's kinda far, so good thing you're athletic."

Next thing Emily knew, they were tiptoeing out the front door. An entrance--next to it--that lead to the living room had seemed too close of a catch, but Mrs. DiLaurentis had been on the phone, not noticing them at all.

"Why all the secrecy?" Emily whispered as she followed Ali.

"Because I want to share this with you and only you."

Emily felt her heart flip. What would Ali want to keep from others? Why only show her? Why not show Noel? Why not show the girls? When they'd been on Alison's room, Ali had made sure Spencer wasn't able to see them. She was lucky enough that she hadn't been on her room until she came to sleep, it was like Ali had known at what time she would be sleeping, as if she had sneaked out before. This had definitely been planned. But what was this, exactly? They'd gone through the empty and quiet streets of Rosewood for what felt like forever.

Ali groaned. "I'm gonna steal Jason's car next time. My feet are killing me."

"You know how to drive?"

"I'm a girl of many talents." Part of the scheme of being perfect.

Emily scoffed, believing it. Ali was a fast learner. After that, Emmy walked in silence until she realized they were going up a big hill. "Um..."

"Here." Alison handled her her water bottle.

"That's not-" Suddenly, Emily realized how dry was her throat and how cold was her skin. She took a long sip.

Alison seemed to notice the cold too, blowing her breath as if it were a cigarette. "I'd actually smoke right now. I'm freezing."

"So... now are you gonna tell where we're going?"

"No need." Ali stopped walking, the stars visible behind her, the town's streetlights glowing beautifully underneath. "We're here."

"Woah," Emily gasped, amazed by the view. She walked a little closer towards the edge. She felt a hand on her arm. Even though it was cold, it warmed her inside.
"Careful." I need you here. Alison sat down on the grass, without saying it. "Sometimes I've found myself standing too close. L'appel du vide... I scare myself."

Emily crouched next to her. "You brought me to a place that scares you?"

"There's something about you that makes me feel safe." Alison laughed. "Now it just kind of reminds me of Divergent."

"The movie was so bad," Emily blurted out. She had read the first two books and watched the movies afterwards. Disappointed wasn't enough to describe how she felt. And of course, she had watched them with Ali.

"I knooow, you wouldn't stop whining for hours. Well, Four went through his fears with Tris."

"Is that where you got this idea from?"

Ali shrugged. "Speaking of movies, I watched Great Expectations'."

Without me? Emily wanted to ask. Watching movies together after reading the books was their thing. They had never done that with any of the girls. "You finished the book?"

"Yeah, I loved it, even if the ending's kinda cliché."

Emily scoffed. "Well, don't spoil it for me. I'm a few chapters away."

Alison giggled at her cuteness. "You know the exam is in, like, a week, right?"

"So how are you doing in history?"

Alison gasped at Emily's remark, but still managed to banter. "I'm making history."

"Yeah? How?"

The edge of the cliff felt farther away from Alison, instead Emily felt closer. She was closer, making her feel like everything was going to be okay. Alison smiled happily. "By being awesome."

Suddenly, a crow cawed, making Ali turn her face to the sound. Emmy retracted hers, realizing that if she leaned in a few inches more, she would be kissing her. She stood up. "I-I think we should go."

Alison remained seated, looking back at her strangely. She had just felt incredible, why did Em want it to end? "We just got here."

"We shouldn't be here, especially this late."

"Are you scared?" Alison teased, trying to take it lightly. She had brought Em here to... she didn't even know, just be with her. Alison had been sneaking out here whenever her family fought, she hadn't this fall though. But was taking Emily to a place where she always found herself alone a crime? Was not wanting to be alone a crime? Didn't Emily want her to let her in? Maybe I should just tell her-

"No!" Emily squealed, looking like she was going to cry. "I-I mean..."

"I was even thinking we could sleep up here--I brought sleeping bags--and start a fire. But if you're scared..."

That sounded amazing in Emily's heart, but in her head it all seemed risky. What if Emily couldn't control herself? She hadn't even noticed she was going to kiss her if it weren't for that damn crow. But at the same time... Ali had planned this. For just the two. Her head said she shouldn't waste her effort, that she could control herself. She wasn't a horny boy. She was Emmy, a sweet girl. "I'm not scared. I just thought about what my mom would say about this."

"I told you before." Ali stood up in front of her and took her hands. "Mom can be wrong... and she can also not find out!" she joked. "So what do you say?"

"Are marshmallows involved?"

Ali grinned. "Of course. I remember you loved them back on brownies."