Ink Stained

87: birthday girl (2)*

When she looked up again, she met Shin's eyes. He held her gaze and cocked his head to the side questioningly. She shook hers; gave him a tight-lipped smile for his kind concern over the little secret she'd made him promise not to tell anyone about her, over a year ago now.

Kouta had noticed the look the two girls had shared, and nudged Shiori's shoulder. "Everything okay?"

Shiori nodded, putting her arm through his, seeking solace in physical touch. She was standing next to Kouta, and Pai was standing next to Shin. She would have moved, but that would be too noticeable, so she stayed put. That would be way too obvious a move for what it was, and she was still trying to pretend that everything was normal when everything was certainly not normal.

"Nothing." Shiori straightened her shoulders, a mental effort to push the memory of Shiharu's death away. "I'll tell you about it later."

Pai's gaze lingered a second too long on their interlocked arms. She wondered if she would ever get to have that. She wondered if she would ever be normal enough that she could shake someone's hand without wanting to immediately go and wash her hands, not because of fear of germs but because her bare skin had touched someone else's.

She wondered if her aversion to physical touch was because of what Rikuto said she was tortured for. Killing Akira for what he did to her. It made sense, in a horrible, revolting way that made her want to regurgitate her innards, a horrible way that had morbid curiosity filling her to the brim, wanting to know if it was really true, but scared of finding out that it might be, of what it would mean if it did really happen.

Scared. She was always so scared.

"So," Shiori changed the subject quickly. They all went with it. She was trying to grin bravely at Pai, and succeeding where Pai was more likely to fail. "How was today? Fun, right?"

Pai nodded absently, picking at her finger. "Much fun."

Shiori rolled her eyes at her frank lack of enthusiasm. "Come on. At least they got to meet Kouta. Plus, it beats sitting around at home and moping on your birthday, right?"

"Who said I would mope – " she cut herself off, eyes widening at the words that just shot out of Shiori's lips like they were supposed to, like Shiori wasn't supposed to say anything about her birthday to anyone.

Pai quickly looked up at Shin. His head was tipped back to watch the LED-lighted signs above them that listed out different locations, time intervals and schedules, and the names of trains heading which way and when. His hands were in the pockets of his black leather jacket (worn entirely for appearances sake alone).

Her heart clenched, railing at why he had to look so good in such a perfectly ordinary setting. Why did his jaw have to be so sharply chiselled? His cheekbones high, his eyes diamonds and rubies, his hair long only on one side that was interwoven with red, so tall and lithe like a beautiful black panther? Even his name was appealing without being showy, in a way she didn't understand.

Then she noticed Shin not at all reacting to hearing the words 'your birthday'. She would have felt a little bad that he didn't seem to care at all that it was her birthday, but she saw the corner of his lips twitch up just a bit. He wasn't focusing so intently on the signs that he didn't hear what they were talking about.

Train station signs were not that interesting.

"Did you – " she stared. "Did you know?"

Shin looked down at her, iridescent blue eyes mooning as he smiled. Her heart skipped a beat. He'd have looked innocent, if the wind hadn't swept his hair around to make him look like he'd just stylishly walked away from winning a bar brawl.