My Professor's Secret

11|

There was absolutely no way a man in possession of a double doctorate degree had difficulty trying to grasp the concept of a school girl's crush. Even he could never deny the obvious attraction his appearance held. If the male to female ratio in our class wasn't evident enough, perhaps their voices wrapped it delicacy and distasteful giggles clued him in on the interest he held with the girls on campus.

"I felt it was the appropriate thing to do," I gulp in attempt to swallow away the lump forming in my throat. It doesn't budge.

"As opposed to?" he trails.

It was obvious nothing would rid us both of this uncertainty than my ability to tell the truth.

"Pretending my motives were as pure as yours may have been. It was inappropriate of me to invite myself as company fully aware of my attraction towards you."

I didn't know what expression to expect from him but it wasn't the half smile he wore on a regular basis. Professor Thornton shifts slightly against his desk, folding his arms promptly over his torso again, holding the silence in his favor as if it weren't the cause of the palpitations happening in my chest. Two pings from my phone breaks the stiffness of my posture and for the first time, a breath of relief immerses.

On the night of the party, Lynn, Taylor and I attended, we created a group message to keep in contact with each other.

Taylor: Alex, where are you? With Lynn?
Lynn: She's not with me, I'm in the lab cramming for a stupid test.

Instead of replying, I lock my phone then stand from his sofa to make my way over to his door. Their text couldn't come at better time. Scratch that—a minute earlier and I would've avoided completely embarrassing myself in front a professor that was most likely gonna have me removed from his roster.

"Sorry," I pause, opening the door to his office. "I feel like I'm doing a lot of apologizing and walking out, but I really should be going. The library awaits. Better get started on that twenty grand worthy award winning piece of writing," I say in a terrible execution of easing the awkwardness I'd caused the both of us.

If the opportunity still stands that is... His expression remains as it always had and I used his lack of response as reason to leave.

"Alex," Professor T calls out. Almost immediately after, electricity courses through every veins in my body. My breathing syncopates to warmness until my eyes could fully process the fact that my hand was secured in his. He uses the strength of his left arm to turn me in his direction. Our bodies practically magnetize in closeness, allowing less than an inch of space between to dwell in the midst of our body heat. "Study well," he ends with a step back. The dissonance and electricity seize the moment our hands no longer touch.

He walks around his desk then takes a seat in his chair, his usual half smile converted in a smug smirk.
I probably looked like a deer caught into a headlights until the sound of a notification broke me from yet another trance he so easily could trap me in.

Taylor: Alexandrea? You do know your read receipts are on? It's almost midnight and you're not here, i'm getting worried.

In library with an essay that's kicking my ass. Don't wait up. Oh, and you got this, Lynn!

»»»

Instead of painting myself a liar, my feet peddle all the way to the library preceding my departure from Professor T's office. Besides a few stragglers lingering in separate corners of the library's only accessible floor after hours, the place was vacant and void of administrative personnel. Students enrolled in night classes received unsupervised reign over the library since lectures had tendencies to run longer than they were intended to.