bare-bones

my therapist told me to count to 10 as if math could make this better

i.

it's the eyes, that's how it starts
   pulsing behind like a fucking tell-tale-heart
my eyelids could burst
erupting like red roses on sped up
shaky camera horror picture shows
they could burst
and then i'd have naked eyeballs
forced to watch my every move
my limbs go rogue

ii.

rouge alabaster
i am the master
of absolutely nothing

i'm soft to the touch
yet i lash out with granite
thick and outlandish

i cannot handle it
so i throw all the rocks

iii.

capsizing like ships
that never floated a chance

docked in stolen waters
i am only vessel for exchanging

for murdering
and for claiming land
already inhabited

call me christopher columbus
and i'll mistake you as my new discovery

    i'll call you all the wrong names
  and enslave your people

iv.

drink up, drink up
poison is delicious when
it's fast acting
i'm finally choking, it's working
red faced and sputtering
oh no
someone help me

v.

what do you think
bleeds faster then ink
and ties crimson ribbon
into little bloody bows?

who knows where
i can catch some breath?
i need it yet
  there is goes

vi.

      king midas is my father
      queen mary is my mother
      they call me their little golden rose
      they never call me by my name
      together they bring me to my knees
      am i to be statuette or
      another witch at the stake?

      smiling with a dagger in her hands
      mother cuts me
      Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary
      midas follows shortly with his hands empty
      lifting mine to kiss them softly

"my flower, you are golden"

vii.

      i
      i
      will tear the shredded vocal cords from your     body
      from my body
      mash them together and stuff them in a box
      no more talking, no more yelling
      no more screaming
      shut your mouth it seethes something ugly
      it grates on my nerves
      nails on a chalkboard
      my head is buzzing like angry hornets ready to sting

      i don't mean

      to be mean

      but i really want to

      be mean

      i need to

viii.

      i don't think that it's wrong
      the body in my trunk
      never said we'd get along
      i drive and drive and drive

      i watch the potholes in the road
      avoid the larges bumps
      don't want to disturb his eternal rest
      he's so peaceful like this

ix.

      volcanos can't suppress themselves like i can
      that's the difference between us
      other than the fact that they spew hot lava
      and i spew centuries old skeletons

x.

      here marks the spot where i bury you
      my treasure
      underneath the old witch elm
      that holds its own secrets
      i'm suddenly calm
      a storm cloud passes over
      a girl digging a hole in silence
      laying her anger to rest
      in its grave

To: the screaming
From: RB, the vessel

a/n: don't ask me what this is because frankly, i don't know