Dear Caleb [COMPLETED]

Bonus Chapter

I can't believe I lost her.

I tried my best.

But she's not stupid.
Of course, she wouldn't take me back.

But that day, when she kissed me, I thought everything was fine, she had forgiven me and we could finally be together.

But my happiness was short lived.

Because almost immediately she pulled back and ran away.

I was too shaken to even go after her.

That day, she didn't answer any of my calls nor did she reply back to any of my messages.
The next day, I received a text from her asking me to meet her at the park.

I didn't know what to make of it.
I was a fucking mess of feelings.

But the emotion that shined through the most, was hope.

Hope that she would take me back.

It was a long shot but still, I hoped.

And that hope came crashing down when she told me that she didn't care anymore.

It couldn't be. It had to be a lie.

But it wasn't.

She walked away from me, leaving me shell shocked and hurt.

She didn't turn around.

And that's when I knew:
She really didn't care.

I know what a dick I had been to her breaking up.

She didn't deserve it.
She deserved much better.

So, I didn't stop her from going away even though I wanted to.

But that didn't stop me from missing her.

It's been exactly a year to that day now.

The day that I last saw her.

I made the decision to go to Duke, so that she could be free from me.

I still fucking wish I would've never broken up with her.

I was so foolish to do that.

I had then tried to make her jealous by dating other girls.

But now here I am,
missing her like hell.

And there she is,
posting pictures with her boyfriend on Instagram.

She was the first girl who had ever caught my eye.

My first love.

And she didn't have to try at all.

She made me feel things that even I didn't know I was capable of feeling.

So even today whether at 2 am or 4 pm, it's her.

When I'm sleeping or studying or walking, it's her.

That day I had beat up Mason in the park because he had insulted her. He used to do that before too but I never did anything; instead I hid my relationship with her so that they wouldn't think less of me.

And I hate the fact that I didn't realise what I had when I had her.

And right now I would give anything to be the guy in her pictures.

But I'm not.

And she has moved on.

I tried being happy for her.
But that doesn't happen.

I tried moving on too.
But that doesn't happen either.

I made a mistake.
And now I'm living with the consequences.

I regret it. I really do.
And I'm sorry.

Because no matter how hard I try,
it's her.

It'll always be her.

For me.

Forever.

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